In times of old, The Furies protected Mother Right. If a mother (or any woman) was harmed, The Furies swooped down and took their vengeance. They were one of the last vestiges of a world that existed before the patriarchy. When we feel righteous anger, it is The Furies who are calling out to us to make what is wrong right again.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Fat Lady is Singing 

That Fat Lady being Noam Chomsky. He says the United States has the three characteristics of a failed state: lack of democracy (i.e. everything in this admin), inability to protect its citizens (i.e. Katrina etc.), belief that it is above the law (i.e. Iraq, etc.).

More later, gators. 0 comments

Monday, May 29, 2006

Let It Be 

May my body be a prayerstick for the world. –Joan Halifax 1 comments

Sunday, May 28, 2006

My Kind 

Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be kind. —Henry James

Regular readers of FS know my feelings about kindness: It is a great gift. (Far different from being "nice," by the way.) I found the above quote today on Miss Patty's blog. I was surprised Henry James wrote it. I've read nearly every novel he ever wrote. (What can I say? I was getting my Master's in American lit; it was necessary.) He didn't strike me as someone who would care about kindness. Shows you what I know.

(I am recuperating, thank you. I'm sneaking in this post. Shhhh! Don't tell anyone. Especially Mario.) 3 comments

Friday, May 26, 2006

Treading Water 

Like any novice in the Church of the Old Mermaids, I am good at treading water. The root canal is healing well, but the pain shifted to my back. I'm tired of my misery, so I'm sure you are. I'm taking some time off to rest. The world is spinning on without me. I haven't the energy to discuss the Emperor and all that is happening. It goes as it goes. I'm even going to try not to write or think up new novel ideas.

It's been raining and is supposed to continue raining. My intention is to relax with a pile of books. Here's what's in the pile:

The World We Used to Live In: Remembering the Powers of the Medicine Men by Vine Deloria, jr.

"Absence and Longing," the summer 2006 issue of Parabola

The Life and Times of Mexico by Earl Shorris

Widdershins by Charles de Lint

The Oracle: the Lost Secrets and Hidden Message of Ancient Delphi by William J. Broad

The Great Deluge: Hurricane Katrina, New Orleans, and the Mississippi Gulf Coast by Douglas Brinkley

Mayflower: a Story of Courage, Community, and War by Nathaniel Philbrick

So you may or may not hear from me for a bit. Have a great weekend, etc.

P.S. I'm watching Monk. It's about going to the dentist. Funny. 0 comments

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Blueberry Bliss 

So right this second except for the sweats, slight nausea, and dizziness, I feel good. I just ate blueberry muffins in cake form. Very, very good. I told Mario how great it was and he patted my leg and said, "It's the drugs, honey." He was right; I did just take some drugs. That's why I have this window of non-moaning. Let's see if I can remember everything I've eaten today. Poor Mario. You know how most people don't eat when they're sick? That's about all I do. Once an hour. Let's see. Woke up at 6:00 a.m. in mucho pain. Made oatmeal so that I could eat half a percocet without throwing up.

Mario got up at 8:00, and he's been feeding me ever since. He's made and served me aduki bean soup, mushroom veggie soup, organic chicken soup, carrot/kale/chard/spinach juice, organic turkey sandwiches, garlic toast, blueberry cake. The soups and juice are great because I can just drink them. The other stuff I have to chew very carefully on one side of my mouth. I did make myself banana blueberry ice cream. (Frozen blueberries and bananas Cuisinarted.) Was able to get my butt off the couch for THAT.

I think it is all getting better, knock wood. Last night the drugs didn't help at all. This morning they helped a bit. Tonight they helped a lot. That must mean improvement, right?

Okay. Back to being the zombie television watcher. 3 comments

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Ads in Theaters 

Those of you who are my age may remember that when they started putting ads before movies, we used to boo. Yes, we'd sit in the theater and boo and hiss. Now people just sit in the movie theaters like little zombies watching the ads. It is so creepy. I still hiss. I'm the only one, so it doesn't last long. But now this: They are starting to do ads in live theaters. Where they're doing plays. Are you freaking kidding me?

OK. That's what I'm getting worked up about. Now it just throbs. My tooth. Teeth. Face. Jaw. (I'm thinking of doing some major narcotics. Legal, of course.) Why does a totally different tooth hurt on my upper jaw when it was my lower jaw and back molar where the root canal happened?

Gilmore Girls are on. Ain't got time for fury. 4 comments

Babbling Banality 

Mario is sitting on the couch with me. He's reading Bluelight to Pucker Huddle: Discovering Klickitat County while I'm watching TV. He's taking off work tomorrow to take care of me. What a sweetheart. I've been watching lots of movies. Last night we rented Something New, Family Stone, and New World. I'm not good at doing reviews of any length—I'll just do quickie reviews. New World: should be renamed Boring World. If any of the early settlers had watched this movie, they would have never come here. Couldn't even finish it.

Family Stone: So gross. Disgusting. Should be a rule in movies. Same rule as in real life: Brothers do not sleep with brother's girlfriend; sisters do not sleep with sister's boyfriend. BLECK! And throwing in a terminal illness does not save a movie where the former happens. It just makes it ICKIER.

Something New: Liked it. Gorgeous black woman reluctantly dating gorgeous white man. A gorgeous gardener. Hunk of burnin' love. Simon Baker is nice to look at. Even sweaty. Plus he can say things like, "I take hard earth and make things bloom," with a straight face and make it sound sweet. It was directed, produced, and written by women. (I didn't know this before I watched it, by the way.) Maybe that's why the man was romantic in a realistic and sweet way. I mean he painted her toenails. In red. He built her a garden. And he went to a cotillion (or some kind of silly dance) in a mariachi suit. He liked her better without her weave.

Tonight I've watched Six Feet Under, Friends, King of Queens, and I'm looking forward to the Gilmore Girls and the Sopranos. Hey, ain't got time to change the world when I'm trying to kill the pain with TV.

May You Zone Out in Beauty!

P.S. Mario just told me that we're both mentioned in the book he's reading. What a kick! 3 comments

Another Hurdle 

I was able to sleep most of the night. Didn't hurt as much. This morning I went in for the root canal—to a specialist. The worst part was getting the shots, not because they hurt, just because it's uncomfortable. Or something. Then after about three hundred shots, they put in a rubber dam. I don't really know why. But that is gaggy. I had on my headset, listening to the same affirmations I listened to for the surgery. I kept my eyes closed. Every time I felt like I couldn't breathe, I just gave myself a pep talk. After they gave me the shots, I held their hands to help me relax. They were very nice. Then they went to work. It didn't hurt. But it was an hour and a half of discomfort. Just the sound of the drill is freaky. Don't know why. I've never been afraid of the dentist.

Right afterward, I ran over to my surgeon's office, which was a couple of blocks away. She sucked things out of my sinuses and remarked that my body makes a lot of mucus. Aren't you glad to know that?

Now I'm home on my couch watching TV. Yes, Mario turned the TV service on again for me. The dentist said my tooth would continue to hurt for a few days, so I'm going to rest and watch movies.

Hope you're all well.

May You Hold Hands in Beauty!

So that's all that's going on here. Nothing profound. I got through it. I guess that's what we do, eh? 0 comments

Monday, May 22, 2006

We Can Fix It 

Here's Patrick Nielsen Hayden's take on the new doc about Global Warming, An Inconvenient Truth. 0 comments

It Bites, Man 

Went to the dentist this morning. Got an abscessed tooth. Gonna have a root canal on the morrow. Taking antibiotics. AGAIN. You must be weary of hearing about my crap. You've got your own crap. But this is good to know what it is. I don't think I've ever had anything quite so painful. Still can't really eat. I also see the surgeon tomorrow. I get the root canal done, and then I walk over to my surgeon's office. Hope everything is OK there. This time I am getting novocaine at the dentist office, by the way. If you'll remember I didn't get any for my crown. Now I can't even have my other teeth touch this tooth, so I'm getting painkillers, baby!

Here's to being free of pain.

Ta! 2 comments

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Update 

Hey! Just a quick note. I've been in pain the last few days and haven't felt like writing. Don't know if it's sinus, teeth, ears, other, or all of the preceding. Went to the naturopath. Didn't think it was ear. Go to the surgeon on Tuesday. Lots of sobbing and other more (or less) productive activities. Am also going over the typeset pages of Broken Moon. My name was misspelled. That was a bit of a shock. And my name is only in one place (besides the CIP) in the whole book. Otherwise the page design is quite beautiful. I have to get them back by June 2nd. And I've been doing about four weeks of library work in a week, so that I can take off three weeks. Tired. In pain. Need a rest.

May You Rest in Beauty! 3 comments

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

August in May 

I'm sitting in my darkened house working on my library order. It's about 4:00 p.m. Outside the world pulses with heat and haze. It is August in May. Is this what they mean when they say the world will end with a whimper, not a bang? My friend just called to tell me she'd be in town with my goddesschild to watch her son play baseball. I don't think they should be outside playing b-ball in ninety-plus degrees. We'll see if we'll saunter over later. Mario is sleeping. Neither of us slept well last night in our hot stuffy house.

On Sunday morning we walked the falls. We went early enough that we were almost the only ones there. We counted 68 deer's head orchids, down from 230. Today we walked up the Mountain. I took an offering of salmon to thank the Being of the Mountain. I couldn't walk all the way up. It got too hot too early and I got dizzy. Can't walk up a mountain when you've got vertigo. We saw a frog. And two deer's head orchids, down from 160, I believe.

I've been in a panic over my book. They printed 25,000 copies. How are twenty-five thousand people going to find Mercy, Unbound? Her story deserves 25,000 readers plus, but what if it falls into the abyss like Coyote Cowgirl did? Then my career will be over. I'll never get another book published. My family will starve. Blah, blah, blah, screaming panicked blah! I told you I hate this part of it. At this stage it's all up to my publisher and the buying public. One of my close friends called and asked what she could do to help because she really liked the book. I said, "You don't know enough people. I don't know enough people. If you like the book, tell people about it. Make sure your library has it, your local bookstore. Otherwise, it's a crap shoot." With my other books I sent out postcards and bookmarks. I called the local press, etc. I haven't done any of that with this book for the simple reason that it did no good before and I spent thousands of dollars (making the postcards and bookmarks, etc.) that could have been put to better use.

Breathe deeply. As Myla Alvarez says in Church of the Old Mermaids, "Things don’t always turn out all right, but they always turn out.”

Well, Linda just called. She's in excrutiating pain. Kind of puts things in perspective, eh? I'll go out there and make her some dinner. Maybe put my hands on her. It seems to help. When I was at the farm on Mom's Day I did some powwowing on her (or putting my hands on her as they say). She's always liked it. She felt better for a few hours. I said to Mario, "I don't see how that does her any good if it only lasts a few hours. I feel like a failure." He said, "When someone takes an aspirin it only lasts for a few hours, but those are painfree hours and that's worth something." That made me look at it in a different way. I have found—although I still fight this—that healing is often not what we think it will be. But then life is kind of like that too.

May You Touch in Beauty! 5 comments

Monday, May 15, 2006

"Nice try though..." 

David Corn of the Nation mag asked Carl Rove about the leak investigation. Rove didn't really answer it, but arrogance oozes off of him as he doesn't answer. Watch the vid.

ABC News learned from a federal source (in person) that their phone calls are being monitored. I am so outraged by this I can hardly contain myself. Will this be enough to piss off the American people?

Well, apparently now 2/3rds of Americans are against the phone spy program. (So did I read it wrong before or have the American people changed their minds?)

By the way, we were offered two free tickets to the Oregon Symhony tonight—at the same time as the Emperor's speech. I weighed our options for a microsecond and decided to go with Mozart. 0 comments

Resolve to Impeach 

Our local Democratic party has adopted a resolution to impeach (see below). Remember I live in an conservative county—and the Democratic party here was conservative, as far as I'm concerned; things might be changing. I was pleased to see that they adopted this resolution. Two of our peace group members have been going to the meetings. I think their influence made this happen. I'll have to ask them. This resolution makes me consider going to the meetings again. We'll see.

Resolution on Impeachment

WHEREAS, Jefferson's Manual section LIII, 603, states that impeachment may be set in motion by charges transmitted from the legislature of a State; and

WHEREAS, George W. Bush has intentionally misled the Congress and the public regarding the threat from Iraq in order to justify a war against Iraq, in violation of Title 18 United States Code, Section 1001 and intentionally conspired with others to defraud the United States in connection with the war against Iraq in violation of Title 18 United States Code, Section 371; and

WHEREAS, George W. Bush has admitted to ordering the National Security Agency to conduct electronic surveillance of American civilians without seeking warrants from the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court of Review, duly constituted by Congress in 1978, in violation of Title 50 United States Code, Section 1805; and

WHEREAS, George W. Bush has conspired to commit the torture of prisoners in violation of the UN Torture Convention and the Geneva Convention, which under Article VI of the Constitution are part of the "supreme Law of the Land"; and

WHEREAS, George W. Bush has acted to strip Americans of their constitutional rights by ordering indefinite detention of citizens, without access to legal counsel, without charge and without opportunity to appear before a civil judicial officer to challenge the detention, based solely on the discretionary designation by the President of a U.S. citizen as an "enemy combatant", all in subversion of law; and

WHEREAS, In all of this George W. Bush has acted in a manner contrary to his trust as President, subversive of constitutional government to the great prejudice of the cause of law and justice, and to the manifest injury of the people of the State of Washington and of the United States.

Be it resolved that George w. Bush and Richard Cheney, by such conduct, warrant impeachment and trial, and removal from office and disqualification to hold and enjoy any office of honor, trust or profit under the United States;

Be it resolved further that the County Democratic Central Committee requests that the State Legislature submit these charges to the U.S. House of Representatives under Jefferson's Manual section LIII, 603 as grounds for impeachment.

Adopted unanimously by the Co. Democratic Central Committee, April 17, 2006.


May You Impeach in Beauty!

3 comments

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Takes Some Ovaries 

Great pic of Greenpeace woman protesting pulp mill pollution (which I can attest to—yuck). She's wearing a g-string. It worked: They took her pic in front of the EU leaders standing for a group photo—and published it.

Priceless. 0 comments

If We Only Had the Brains... 

Watch this clip from SNL: If Al Gore was president. Ah, if only. (via) (Thanks for starting me on the search, Will.) 0 comments

Arise! 

As I do every Mother's Day, I post Julia Ward Howe's glorious Mother's Day Proclamation of 1870. It's all about peace, babies!


Arise then...women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
"We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the voice of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says: "Disarm! Disarm!
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."
Blood does not wipe our dishonor,
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil
At the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace...
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God -
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

Thank you, Julia Ward Howe!

May We All Dance the Dance of Peace in Beauty!
0 comments

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Lunar Beltane '06 

Watched the Moon rise above the gorge cliffs last night, then went to sleep. Don't remember my dreams. I slept. Ahhhhh!

This morning I prepared for our Lunar Beltane celebration. I made dal and rice. When my friend Jenine arrived, she asked me what my plans were for the day. I said I had none. "You wouldn't believe how easy I've become," I said. "Except about politics." We decorated the house, twining flowers around the porch pillars. We spread an oil cloth over the Big River table. We dressed in fairy wings and tried on different colorful outfits. Barbara and Ramona arrived. Barbara brought chicken soup (all organic) and blueberry pie. Ramona brought wild salmon and potato soup. Jenine brought little fairy cupcakes and deviled eggs. We had a lot of soup today! We decided we'd eat before making our May Day baskets. Mario came downstairs and ate with us. We said a blessing and then ate and made merry.

Afterward we brought into the kitchen bags of ribbon, baskets, flowers, beads, etc. Just before we started our creations, we held hands and gave thanks to all who joined our circle, visible and invisible. A white spider crawled out onto a bouquet of red rhodies as we said the blessing. We watched her beautiful body wander around the flower. We decided she was Spider Woman joining us for our celebration. We eventually put her outside, on another rhodie bush. Then we started making our May Day baskets. I made one for myself and one for Linda. We talked as we worked. We put on temporary mermaid tattoes. (The Old Mermaids are everywhere.) Danced.

When we finished our baskets, Ramona made a bouquet for the fairies/devas/spirits/trees. We donned fairy wings and went across the street to the Old Oak and Old Maple. We placed offerings of cupcakes and flowers at the feet of the Old Oak. We made our wishes known. Health. Prosperity. Peace. Rest. Gave thanks. Then we danced and blew bubbles. Cars went by below us. Ramona said, "We seem to be invisible." I said, "I always ask that I be invisible to those who would harm me. Maybe that's it." Ramona said, "I think fairies are invisible to most people."

A few cars did slow down and wave. What a beautiful sight we were—I could see us too! At home again, we each sat in the willow chair. Then the others gifted us. It felt marvelous to have each woman walk up to me—so beautiful and powerful—and offer her gift—her prayer—for me.

We blessed our May Day baskets in silence. Then dessert. Tea. We sat around the table and came up with Old Mermaid names for everyone. (I already have one: Kimmer. Mario is Mermar. Ramona: Mermona. You get the idea. The hardest one was Jenine's guy, Buddy. His name kept sounding like a beer: Budmer, Merbud. Barbara's husband was easy: Paulmer.)

Later I lay on the couch with Mario, delighted that I had spent the day with Divas. Devas. Fairies. Goddesses. Friends.

I thought of one of my friends who is an activist; she never comes to our parties, and sometimes I'm certain she disapproves of our frivolity. I have another friend who never does any activism, believing instead that we need to think good thoughts and things will work out. To my way of thinking and feeling and being, I say we need more frivolity, more dancing, more talking to the trees and the fairies. We need to connect with our world. We need to do the other work too, to the best of our abilities to respond.

Today I danced. Prayed. Blessed. Talked. Hugged. Loved.

Tomorrow I hope to do the same. And more.

Blessed be and blessed sea!

Except for the first two pics, all photography by Mario Milosevic (which explains the abundance of moi)

Thank you, Spider!
spiderwoman

Jenine & Ramona making baskets
makingbaskets

Dancing with the trees & each other (Ramona, Barbara, me, Jenine)
dancing

Wings & bubbles
bubbles

Barbara
flying

Beauty
beauty

Going back
crossing2

At the crossroads
crossroads

Gifted
gifted

You can see the mermaid tattoo peeking out of my dress near my right shoulder
preparing

May Day Magic & Mess
maydaymess 2 comments

Friday, May 12, 2006

In Context 

Wired. Wired. Wired. Need to sleep, but that will come. Tonight is Lunar Beltane! Tomorrow we'll celebrate—probably in zombie mode but then zombies have their place. In fact, I like that title: Zombie. Zombie Wife. Zombie Barbie. Zombie Mom. Zombie Does Dallas. Zombie Writer.

I reread the novel, made changes, and inputted them. As I did each page, I dropped it onto the floor. That's my filing system, yes. Now I will pick them up and put them in the recycle bag. They're already recycled paper (I forget what the post-consumer waste percentage is), and now we'll recyle them again.

So here's what it looks like. Aren't you thrilled beyond words to know this?

mess 0 comments

Rove to Be Indicted? 

Is it true? Mario just sent me this piece from truthout.org. Let it be so! According to truthout.org, "Within the last week, Karl Rove told President Bush and Chief of Staff Joshua Bolten, as well as a few other high level administration officials, that he will be indicted in the CIA leak case and will immediately resign his White House job when the special counsel publicly announces the charges against him, according to sources."

I certainly didn't hear any of this on the mainstream news today or any other day. If it's true, I'll do a little dance. I was so discouraged today to hear that the polls say most Americans don't mind that the phone companies are giving our records out to the government. Rat bastards!

With apologies to the rats. 0 comments

I'm a Classy Broad, Awright 

I found the Classy Dames Test on The Stories of a Girl (Sara Zarr's blog). It's more fun to take this particular quiz if you are in the spirit of a classy dame. (i.e. have you seen all those noir films with the classy broads in them?) Apparently I am Barbara Stanwyck. No surprise there. I took the Classy Leading Man test too. I am apparently Clark Gable. That doesn't surprise me either. Low on the toughness, high on the rouguish and charming scale. (Yes, these are the things I do when I'm too sleepy to do anything else!)

Barbara Stanwyck
You scored 40% grit, 23% wit, 38% flair, and 11% class!

You're a tough dame, a bit of a spitfire, and you can even be a little dangerous, but you do it with such flair that almost all is forgiven (and even when it's not, you're still the most interesting woman in the room). You can be witty and charming, all right, but you have a tough streak that keeps you focused and sometimes deadly. You've had quite a climb to get where you are, but you're a hard worker and you mostly deserve all you get...and then some. You might end up destroying everything around you, but you must admit...you've got style. Your leading men include Henry Fonda, Fred MacMurray, and when you forget yourself, Gary Cooper.


Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the
Classic Leading Man Test.




My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 95% on grit
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 50% on wit
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 47% on flair
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 2% on class
Link: The Classic Dames Test written by gidgetgoes on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test
2 comments

Crusade 

I know I just used this quote a couple of days ago, but I think it bears repeating, especially on this Lunar Beltane. Rock on, boys and girls.

"I'm just like every modern woman trying to have it all. A loving husband, a family. I only wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade." —Morticia, Addams Family Values 0 comments

FAQs about Mercy 

I've started answering questions about Mercy, Unbound over on Unbound Cafe in case you're interested. 0 comments

Voices (Updated) 

I've been working on Church of the Old Mermaids for sixteen hours today. I didn't do anything else. Didn't go outside. Okay, I did two loads of laundry and the dishes, but that's about it. I worked on it all day yesterday too. I love working, and I love this book, but something I've always had trouble with is finding a good balance between every day life and work. I should have taken a walk today. Should have stopped to smell the roses. (Okay bad example—although someday I hope to be able to smell the roses.)

It's almost midnight, and I'm too wired to sleep because I worked too long.

A centipede just scurried across the room. Makes me shudder. Why do they only come out late at night?

Anyway, about writing novels.

Each book has its own voice. And that voice ain't mine. If I read a passage and it sounds like I'm talking, that means the passage (and maybe the book) is in trouble. Or if people are talking and I could switch names on the he said/she said/they said and it wouldn't make any difference, then I'm in trouble. Each person and everything they say should be unique to them. When rewriting, it's especially important to maintain the voice and tone of the novel. It's easier on first draft, probably because I'm more in the flow of the novel then. A voice is easier for me to write when it's a white middle-class woman. That doesn't mean the book is better when that's the voice; it just means I don't have to stretch much outside my comfort level—but I like stretching. Part of the fun of being a writer is that you can be anyone in any place when you write.

Some voices are easier than others. Keelie's voice in The Jigsaw Woman was easy for me. That book just flowed out of me, as though those characters had been a part of me forever. I was so angry and sick when I wrote that book, so it was easy to write an angry woman. Women. It was more difficult to write the characters who lived in peaceful times in that book. (I've always said I'm good at writing war stories. Most American writers are. It's peace that's more difficult. Why? Because we are raised in this warmongering society. Come on.) It was difficult at first, but then I really got into it. It was fun being in a peaceful, creative, and sensual world.

Gloria in The Gaia Websters was a bit harder—until I figured out she wasn't in touch with her emotions. She was good at one thing—healing—and she figured that was enough. Social niceties were beyond her. I could relate to that. Not because I was a healer but because I was really good at a couple of things—and to hell with all that social conformity crap. And I really liked her life. She had a house in the desert, someone brought her three meals a day, she had a coyote to keep her company—and a good man who dropped in occasionally to trip the light fantastic with her.

Coyote Cowgirl's voice was easy, but not because Jeanne was anything like me. She wasn't. But I understood her, and Crane was so funny. I loved writing that novel. I barely changed a word from first draft to the final published book.

Mercy, Unbound was like that too. Easy. Wonderful. Like I was a stenographer. Plus I understood Mercy's angst. Poor sweetheart. And she's such a cool person. I liked spending time with her. I barely rewrote a word of that book either, just added a few scenes.

The voice in Broken Moon is very different from my own. Nadira is an 18 year old Pakistani woman. This book was more difficult to rewrite. I was often unsure of myself. In the end when I reread it, I could hardly tell I had written it. I loved that feeling. That gave me confidence that I had, perhaps, gotten her voice right.

And now the Church of the Old Mermaids. Myla is a completely new voice for me. The whole book is completely different from anything I've done: the tone, the style. (Of course, all my books are different from one another. That drives publishers crazy.) In Broken Moon, Nadira tells stories. I really liked doing that. It was tricky because if you tell a story within a story it can break the rhythm of the story—or stop it completely. So it has to be done just right. If you tell a story within a story, both stories have to be equally interesting. Telling the story within the story has to be the story. (And to my way of thinking one of the stories can't be a framing device or a flashback—unless you're a genius—because nothing can kill the liveliness of a tale more quickly than a framing device or a flashback.)

In Church of the Old Mermaids I have to get Myla's voice right—and the voices of the Old Mermaids—while maintaining perfect pitch. Of course I try to do that with every novel. From the first sentence, I want the readers to suspend their disbelief and follow along with me, so I don't want to do anything to disrupt that suspension.

We'll see if I succeeded. It is fun. And scary. Impossible. Wonderful.

Don't know if any of this made sense. I just needed to think about my books tonight. Prepare me for more rewriting tomorrow.

Time to try sleep again.

P.S. Didn't work. Got up and kept working until 4:30 a.m. ish. Slept for three hours. Now I'm awake and very cranky. It's full moon. Lunar Beltane. Need to shake the crankiness off...or at least get some sleep. 0 comments

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Voting Machines 

For those of you who thought the rest of us were paranoid about voting machines, you might want to read this latest piece about it. Scientists are saying Diebold has a serious flaw. (We coulda told you that.) The article says, "Scientists, who have conferred with Diebold representatives, said Diebold programmers created the security hole intentionally as a means of quickly upgrading voting software on its electronic voting machines.

"The hole allows someone with a common computer component and knowledge of Diebold systems to load almost any software without a password or proof of authenticity and potentially without leaving telltale signs of the change."

I feel like the cartoon character whose head is shaking back and forth so quickly you can't see it. SAY WHAT?????

We may have been paranoid, but we were also right.

I'll say it again: dump these machines. Go back to paper ballots. That's the only way I can see to have an honest election. 0 comments

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Drafty Here 

Finished another draft of Church of the Old Mermaids. I love these old gals. Tomorrow I hope to input the changes, print it out, and read it once more. Then if I feel like it's ready, it's off to my agent.

Here's short scene to go to bed on:

...Myla crouched next to Lily and gave her a wet kiss on her cheek. Lily wiped it away.

"Oh! You don't want my kisses, eh? Well you know that kiss is on your hand now, so if you want it back, you can just touch your cheek any time."

Lily put her hand against her cheek and smiled.

"It's cold out here," Myla said. "Time for bed."

Lily reached for Myla's hand, and they walked back to the house.

"Do Old Mermaids have to brush their teeth?" Lily asked.

"I think so," Myla answered.

"Do they have to eat their vetables?"

"Gladly."

"What about school? Do they have to go to school?"

"Probably. I think it's called the School of Fish."


May You Swim in Beauty! 2 comments

Why I Love Men 

Okay I love women too. But sometimes—generally speaking—men are easy. Easier. You all know about my sinus surgery. Over the last two weeks I've seen lots of people who never knew me before my nose blew up from the polyps. Before the surgery I tried to explain to my friends that the polyps had pushed out the bones in my nose, so that part would not change after the sinus surgery. The only way I can fix that, as far as we knew, was through rhinoplasty, which I have no intention of doing since it's not impacting my health, just my looks. Anyway, despite me saying this, no one seems to have heard it. After my operation nearly every person I've seen has said something like, "You're still swollen but that will go down, right?" Then I say, "No, this is now what I look like now." "Oh." And then they look away.

Today as I was walking home from the bank, I noticed my friend's truck outside a local restaurant. I went inside to say hello. I sat at the booth and talked with them for a while. I used to live down the road from them when we lived on the Landing. Ira is in his eighties; Rhoda is in her seventies. They're two of my favorite people. Anyway, we talked politics for a bit and then Rhoda asked me about the operation. I told her. She was puzzled by the shape of my nose. I told her about the bones being pushed out. Then I said, "But the important thing is that I can breathe. Can't smell yet but I'm hopeful. And I think it looks better." By this time, I was tired of explaining this, especially since just before I came into the restaurant I had just explained it to another friend. But then Ira said, "You look beautiful." I put my arm around him and said, "Now that's the right thing to say." I don't know if Ira actually looked at me and noticed any difference at all. I don't really care. But he said exactly the right thing. No questions. No puzzlement. No staring. Just the facts, ma'am, as he saw them.

That's why I love men. At least why I love that man. 2 comments

Global Warming Causes Asthma 

Wow. I knew that global warming is causing an increase in infectious diseases. It is causing a rise in sea levels. The ferocity and frequency of storms is increasing. Bad air days are increasing. I knew all that. What I didn't know is that the increase of asthma and allergies is (at least partly) caused by global warming—or catastrophic climate change (CCC) as I like to call it. (I suppose "like" is the wrong word. CCC seems more appropriate and understandable than global warming, although the CCCs are caused by global warming.)

Anyway, I was surprised to learn today that carbon dioxide is a fertilizer. So plants are getting more fertilizers and weeds are plants too. Ragweed pollen has doubled since 1900—and the little buggers are more hardy than they were so it's more difficult to eradicate them. I learned this from Too Hot to Not Handle, an HBO film I almost didn't watch because I thought I knew what I needed to know. By the way, the movie also talks about what we can do. Don't let the naysayers it's too late. The oil companies want us to believe that: oh, there's nothing we can do so let's just keep living the high life. Ain't true. We need to change our ways, baby. The United States is so behind the times on this issue. Go here for more info. I continue to believe this is the most pressing issue of our time–maybe for all time.

P.S. By the way, is your city a cool city? Seattle is a very cool city, so is Tacoma. And if you know anything about the political and economic differences between these two Washington cities, you'd be amazed. Tacoma is just beginning the process, but you've got to start some place. I've talked before about the nonpartisan US Mayors Climate Protection Agreement. These are big and little towns and cities. There is an answer to this. We can do it. 2 comments

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

War on Women Part 3 Trillion 

So you know the war on women is going full bore. They want to end legal abortions and they're rumbling about birth control. But women are standing up. Everyone needs to stand up against this kind of crap. You might be inspired by some of the signs on this website. (Thanks, Tom.) These Guerilla Women protested the Emperor coming to Nashville. I love the sign that reads, "Welcome to Nashville, Asshole." And another: "Outlaw viagra, not abortions." They've also got a cool pic of Stephen Colbert (by Don Nelson) as Neo. 0 comments

Tuesday With Wednesday 

I'm home on the couch sick, so I'm watching movies. Addams Family and Addams Family Values. They're so subversive. I loved the TV show when I was a kid. My girlfriend and I used to "play" the Addams Family. I was Gomez, and she was Morticia. I'd kiss her hand and up her arm, talking to her in French, just as Gomez did on TV. (I wish I had a picture of that. Wonder what the other kids thought of this spectacle? I didn’t care. I vaguely remember people laughing, but maybe it was just me laughing!)

This is the first time I've seen the movies. The girl Wednesday and her brother Pugsley are selling lemonade because the family has been kicked out of their home and they have to make money. A little girl comes by in her Girl Scout uniform and demands to know if the lemonade is made from real lemons. Wednesday says, "Yes." The girl says, "I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?" Pugsley says, "Yes." The Girl Scout says, "I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?" Wednesday says, "Are they made from real Girl Scouts?"

Priceless.

I love their subversive nature. The Addams Family is the perfect subversion of the middle-class Eisenhower-era nuclear family. (Yes, I know the cartoons appeared in the New Yorker before the Eisenhower era. What can I say? Charles Addams was ahead of his time.) When I used to work in the library, I always shuddered at the popularity of the Sweet Valley High books and their ilk. They seemed so white and blond and the same. Seeing little Wednesday dressed in black—and resisting when the camp counselors try to indoctrinate her by forcing her to watch the Brady Bunch—warms my heart. She’s so smart and articulate. It's not the clothing styles I object to in the Sweet Valley High books, by the way. I just don't like the idea of everyone having to be the same in order to be happy. Resistance is not futile.

Revolution, mi amores.

When Gomez worries that the strain of the children bickering might be getting to Morticia, she says, "I'm just like every modern woman trying to have it all. A loving husband, a family. I only wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade."

Don't we all.

When Wednesday and Pugsley meet the new nanny, Morticia says to them, "What do you say to the new nanny?" Wednesday says, "Be afraid. Be very afraid."

Thankfully the members of the Addams Family are not Wonder bread; they're moldy bread. A nice shot of penicillin on this sick day. 2 comments

Old Obelisk? Circ 2006 

Have you been keeping tabs of Loo Wit? Here's an amazing pic. Reminds me of the black obelisk in 2001, only this one's a bit grayer and leaning over a bit. Crone Obe. 0 comments

Wonders! Wonders! 

Go the links in this post and see the amazing spectacle! I wish it would come here, but I'm glad it happened somewhere. Warms the cockles of my heart. 0 comments

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Transparency 

No, not in government, silly loves. In nature. Mario found these photographs somewhere of butterflies with transparent wings. Aren't they marvey? (I wish I'd known about them when I was writing Mercy, Unbound—since she is troubled because no one can see her wings. Someone could have commented that maybe she was a glasswing angel.) They're called Glasswings. What a great title for a story... 0 comments

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Get the Video 

C-Span has made available the video of the White House Correspondents Dinner with Stephen Colbert. If you don't want to buy it, put in a request at the library. (At the same time you can ask for Mercy, Unbound. I'm just saying.) All this brouhaha over his is amazing. Colbert was hysterically funny. He was ovary funny. Ballsy funny. He was nervy funny. As angry as I am with this administration, I don't think I would have had the nerve to do what he did. That takes such moxie. He not only took the Emperor to task; he lambasted the press—funnily. With truthiness. Our press, our Congress, our selves have been a part of this terrible time in our history.

I'm hoping that in the fall we can have a renaissance. Years ago I was at a convention and Terry Carr, an influential editor at the time, was on a panel. He said the thing he didn't like to see in writing, or in life, was nihilism. He wasn't specifically talking about nihilism in the sense that God is dead; he talked about cynicism coupled with nihilism: the idea that it was cool to think everything was worthless so let's just party and destroy until it's 1999. You get the idea. And I agreed with him then and now. I hope it becomes the norm again to care about our neighbors and our planet.

But I digress and my husband is waiting for me to get dressed so we can go out into this beautiful (and gray) day. 1 comments

Thursday, May 04, 2006

A Fleur a Day? 

Whilst wandering and looking up stories about ginger, I came upon Isha Lerner's site. I have her Power of Flowers cards, which are quite lovely. (I just discovered tonight that she has a mermaid card, the Fuchsia plant, which someone gifted to me after my operation. I love serendipity.) You can do a kind of "flower a day" online. I asked what was next to me, and I got Bleeding Heart. I also picked a Goddess card. I got Dancing with the Sun. (I couldn't give you the real pages to either of these because there aren't links to them. I assume it's a random generator of some sort. But still fun. It's under Online Readings, by the way, on her home page.) 0 comments

And Ginger Has It 

Came home today after a meeting in Vancouver and grocery shopping in Portland and finished up the dinner Mario had started. Tomato sauce with shitake mushrooms for pasta. I hadn't had spaghetti (or hardly any tomatoes) in nearly six months. Decided it was time. He hadn't had enough shitakes, so I chopped up and sauteed more in olive oil, then added them to the sauce. Then I made a salad of spinach, lettuce, and dandelion leaves. I bought kale, so I looked up a recipe for it. I'm always buying kale and then it rots in the fridge. I found something easy. Sauteed minced fresh ginger in olive oil and then added chopped kale along with a bit of soy sauce and water. I minced the ginger, heated the oil, then dropped the ginger in. I was talking to the ginger the entire time. Saying how wonderful it was, how beautiful, how healing. Then I thought I smelled something. Like how ginger smells when it begins to brown. I can't really describe it, because it wasn't a strong scent. It wasn't even clear to me that it was a smell. I breathed deeplya. Such joy. Ecstacy. Hope. I was so excited! My first smell in over ten years!

I tried smelling others things, but nada. And later I couldn't smell the ginger any more. But it's a start.

Ginger is reputed to have magical properties. Arab magicians of old used it as an aphrodisiac. It's a distant cousin of the banana. It's supposed to help with sea sickness and other motion sicknesses. It's reputed to calm the tummy (like ginger ale), but it often upsets my stomach. But tonight, ah tonight, Ginger is Queen!

Blessed be! 2 comments

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

spring 2 comments

Bald Eagle Cam 

This is so amazing! You can watch bald eagles sitting on their eggs. Tremendous! (It doesn't always work. Not sure why. Found it on the Guardian.) 0 comments

Monday, May 01, 2006

Happy Beltane '06 

I made it to the falls today. We were by ourselves most of the time. Counted 230 deer's head orchids! Saw lots of gorgeous trilliums and violets. Followed a robin for a while as it hopped along the trail. Fantastic!

Hope you all had a great day too.

Violet
yellowviolet

Trillium
trillium1

Deer's head orchid
deersheadorchid

May I have this dance?
crookedance

Orchid tableau. It's not a great pic, but I wanted you to see them on the forest floor so you can see how small they are. The heart-shaped leaves are violet leaves, so that gives you some perspective.
bandofdeershead

maydayfalls 0 comments

Huge Anti-war Protest in NYC 

Did they cover this in the news at all? Apparently 300,000 people marched against the war in New York Saturday. 0 comments

Thank You, Stephen Colbert! 

Want to thank Stephen Colbert for his brave bit of comedy and truthtelling? Go here. You'll also find good links to his entire speech there. 2 comments

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