The Furious Spinner

No, I'm not going to sew, but I wanted to start off with something besides "So..." Yeah, well, you can see where I'm at; not a lot of originality flowing through me. I haven't been writing much, as you no doubt noticed. Haven't felt like it. I think the year finally caught up with me: Linda, Dave, the surgeries, the polyps coming back (and then going away), the book deal falling through. I just haven't had the energy or the inclination. Sad, sad, sad. Last night in the middle of the night after I checked on Mario and then tried to sleep again (on the couch), I felt something shift, almost imperceptively. I've felt a bit better since. I know it could switch off any second and I could begin diving agin, so I want to grab all the gusto, but I've only had a few hours of sleep in the last few nights. Not much energy for gusto grabbing. Once Mario gets better and I get through this next visit with the surgeon (Tuesday) I hope I'll be my new self....actually, I hope before then I am my new self. Somehow I've got to learn not to be so knocked out by the challenges in my life. It's the punch drunk syndrome, I believe. Been furious and fighting and traumatized too many years. I'm too bruised to step back into the fray right now. I am ready for some fun. When I was getting my craniosacral treatment today, I felt like this old time preacher came into the room, and he was saying—he was testifying—"Sister Kim, rise up! Lay down your burdens, Sister Kim! Rise up and be healed!" (Kind of reminded me of the movie Color of Purple when they were all walking toward the church singing.) I am ready, brother; I am ready; I am ready.

Sew...

Weaving together my life, one way or another, no longer furiously spinning, just taking it one stitch at a time.

May You Weave & Wobble in Beauty!

Labels: sleep

0 comments

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

All photographs and written material copyright © 2003-2008 by Kim Antieau unless otherwise indicated. May not be used without permission.