The Furious Spinner

It's not raining quite as hard right this second. And on the teevee, Jim Webb has been declared the winner in Virginia. The Dems have taken the Senate. Halle-freaking-lujah.

Tomorrow we have our teevee service turned off again. I'm looking forward to it. All these talking heads are...icky.

We had a nice little election party last night, five of us. Mario made spring rolls. Mmmmm. And we heard good news about the elections. Afterward I couldn't get to sleep. Could you? Finally dropped off for a couple of hours, and then I was up again. At 5:00 a.m., I sat on this couch (where I am now) writing a post for the Church of the Old Mermaids blog. It was quiet, except for the rain. Sounded so nice and secure. Mario was upstairs sleeping, I had hopes our country might get back on track, and life was good.

Today we went into Portland for acupuncture. Afterward we went to an office supply place, and I realized—after having one of those tug of war conversations with another person—that one of the things I long for is collaboration. Most of the projects I take on are things I hope will continue in collaboration. Instead, these projects often end in exhaustion—my exhaustion. I don't know about where you live, but where I live, collaboration isn't something most people want. Everyone has their own way of doing things, their own agenda, and they're going to do it their own way no matter what. This does not work well in groups. It does not work well in community or in government. Cooperation and collaboration does not have to mean compromise—in the bad sense of that word.

I work best when I am in cooperation and collaboration with others. I learn things by talking with people. I like bouncing ideas off of someone and having them bounce their ideas right back at me. (Are you picturing it?) That ain't the Western way.

(This collaboration and cooperation doesn't work when I'm writing. I write alone. I don't really want or need input from anyone in the middle of a fiction project—although I will talk to Mario about what I'm doing, but that's it.)

When Mario and I were talking about this today he said, "I didn't know that about you." I said, "What? We've been together for twenty-six years and you don't know that? I'm always talking about wanting community." "Community and collaboration are not the same things." "But you can't have workable community without collaboration."

And so it goes.

Is it just that so many people are control freaks, so they can't allow for someone else's point of view? Or is it more that so many people don't believe in themselves, so they can't imagine collaborating because they're afraid it might expose their weaknesses? (And of course the word collaboration has its own baggage: collaborating with the enemy and all that.)

I'm being vague, aren't I? It's late and I can't think of any specific examples. I haven't slept much in the last few days. Lots of good and wonderful things happening. Still tired though. Tonight I hope to sleep like a horse. No, wait, I hope to sleep like a baby. That's the saying. A baby who sleeps through the night, of course.

Our house has not leaked through the storm, knock wood. Our car is another matter. The trunk is full of water. (Okay, it is not full of water. But there was a lot of water. Too much water in any case because there shouldn't have been any at all.)

I had something profound to say, but it disappeared. And Mario just came in and told me to get off the computer. In a sweet and loving way, of course. "You have got to get off that computer. It's not going to help your tiredness."

Okay, my sweet.

More on the morrow.

Labels: community, democracy watch, nature, sleep

2 comments

2 Comments:

Etymology: Late Latin collaboratus, past participle of collaborare to labor together, from Latin com- + laborare to labor (Merriam Webster Online)

Some of us collaborate because we want to and some because we have to. I prefer to want to myself. It's nice when there's a true meeting of minds.

About the car leaks. Must be going around. We have three and all three leak. Two from rust and one inside due to the air conditioner (yes, it's still hot here in Hawaii in November).

By kevin, at 7:33 PM  

You know I answered this, but it got disappeared. Hope your cars have stopped leaking. Ours have not. We think we have another leak in the other car. But these are small things. Right? At least the Republicans have less power. Let's see what happens next.

By Kim Antieau, at 5:10 PM  

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