The Furious Spinner

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

It's nearly 100 degrees outdoors. We're all hoping our flowers and vegetables don't fry. This is unusual weather for this time of year, six weeks early at least.

We're 'laxing before our friends pick us up to go see Hairspray in Portland. This is not the day I would chose to do this, but they had free tickets, and it's difficult to say no to free. We'll see what we think later.

Today I had a little meltdown. The last couple of days I've noticed my brain isn't quite connecting, so I really do need some down time. I just took an Epson salt bath, then cuddled with Mario on the couch. This may be my last post for a bit. I need to catch up on library work. I took a few weeks vacation, but no one does my work while I'm gone, so it's just waiting for me.

As I mentioned it has been quite a week. I've been doing flower essences and spending time with Linda and preparing for Sheila's memorial. Our friends Barbara and Paul went out of town, so I dropped over to their place to check things out every once in a while.

On Solstice morning, I got up and picked cherries while the sun came up. Then I went over to Linda's. I walked the dogs. Then Linda went to the doctor's, and I went into her lovely flower garden to make an essence of her garden. I got a bowl and water and I went around talking and asking permission and plucking here and there.

These are some of the plants: an apple tree, wild rose, two willow trees, roses, delphiniums, Dutch Iris, buttercup, little pinks (dianthus), sweet william, penstimen, butterfly bush, blue campanula, rose companion, bee balm (bergamot) columbine, daisies, rose mallow, honeysuckle, sage, Iris, Solomon's seal, clematis, tiger lily, ornamental poppy, ferns. The petals looked so delicate and colorful in the bowl. I set the bowl in the center of the garden and talked and blessed and danced around. The dogs sat about ten feet away, side by side, watching me. They seemed quite reverential. When the ceremony was over, they seemed to know it was okay to come hang out with me again. Really wonderful. Linda's garden is so beautiful and peaceful. I can sit and see the flowers or look beyond to the fields where the grass undulates like waves on the ocean. I really love it there.

Life. Beauty. Surviving. Thriving. Strength. Determination. Living life your way. Reminder to dance. Love. All this I felt and heard while in this garden.

After making the mother essence of Linda's garden, I went home. I don't remember now what I did, but the day was full. I had a phone conversation with someone, and I felt like I started to become normal again. Since the workshop, I haven't been able to settle back into my life—into the good parts of my life. Too wired all the time. the phone call helped.

I went back to Linda's after she got home. I was very tired. I had been invited to a couple Solstice celebrations, but I sat with Linda. Afterward I drove over to my friend Barb's house. They were out of town, so I was checking on their cherry tree. The cherries were ready. I lay on her swing chair and watched the bees fly around the hives. I wondered if I'd ever be able to wind down. I was so tired. And utterly happy. Confused. Not understanding everything that was happening to me. Sad about Sheila dying.

Went home to Mario. He made us vegetables, quinoa, and salmon. Afterward we ate cherry pie.

It was a good day.

There was more to tell you, but it floats away with my weariness. I just talked to Linda. She thinks it's not going to be long. She needs treatment, but she doesn't want to go to the hospital. She's going to try and get a nurse at home. She doesn't have any money, so I'm not sure how she'll do it.

I am beat, darlin's. I'm going to try to rest. I've got to go over to Linda's first thing in the morning. She's trying to get everything in order. I'm trying not to feel bad that I couldn't help her more. Wished I could save her. I still don't think she's going to die—imminently, I mean. I hope she's wrong, and I'm right.

I'm going to eat my sandwich and sip my soup. I hope you all are doing well.

May You Eat in Beauty! 1 comments

1 Comments:

... there with you as you walk this road with Linda, Kim. It is a terrible thing to watch a beloved friend die. I am still missing Maggie and I thought of her at Litha - she would have been right here with me in the garden for ritual and she would have been glorying in summer and the flowers. Blessings, Cate

By  kerrdelune, at 9:28 AM  

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