In times of old, The Furies protected Mother Right. If a mother (or any woman) was harmed, The Furies swooped down and took their vengeance. They were one of the last vestiges of a world that existed before the patriarchy. When we feel righteous anger, it is The Furies who are calling out to us to make what is wrong right again.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Hallows 

witch
Last night it rained so hard the sound of rain on our roof kept waking me. Shaking, I'd try to go back to sleep. Funny thing about fear—it makes you cold. Funny thing about hot flashes—they make you hot and then cold. Sometimes it seems that life is all about learning to let go. I admire people who are able to do that. I try. I try. I try. We kept hearing the sound of water dripping, a deep, drum-like sound. It was late and we were in bed and figured it came from outside. So we let the water drum provide the music for our sleep. We don't think we've seen rain like this in years. And we live in the Pacific Northwest.

Finally waken and try not to worry. My mind gets an idea and then says, "What if, what if, what if?" The mind of a storyteller. I call Bear to help me. Wolves follow. Guardians? Guides? Mario and I drive to the place where I'll get a CAT scan. The receptionists are children. When did everyone get so young? I think positively. If all goes well—when all goes well—I'll be able to breathe through my nose again; my face won't be so distorted; maybe I'll be calm again. Isn't that kind of like will I be able to play the piano after the operation, doc? Sure! Wow. I couldn't play it before. Badda bing. I finally step out of my nervousness and look around. I think I can tell who is afraid and who isn't. They do so many tests nowadays. How does one step out of the cycle of going to doctor after doctor for test after test? I did it. For almost decade. Probably too long.

I say a prayer to the Goddess of Radiation. Soon after a woman calls my name. I walk with her. Say Happy Halloween. A door opens and there it is. It reminds me of a small Stargate. You know, from the TV show. A circle. An oracle. Place your body here, child. And I will see into your soul. Or at least the soul of your sinuses, darling. The technician is wearing an orange t-shirt with a pumpkin on it underneath her open lab coat. I ask her if I need anything to protect my girls. No, the x-rays won't be near anything but my head. She asks me if I've done this before and I say yes. I lay down on my stomach, chin on a soft-hard piece of something. I look straight ahead at some boxes. I think they should put a pretty picture there for patients to look at. I have to leave my arms at my sides. "Like I'm flying," I say. "Yep, sure," she says. "Hey, I'm superwoman," I say. "Wonderwoman." "It'll take about five minutes. The table will move and that's about it." She leaves. After a few moments or a minute, the machine comes on. It sounds like waves on the shore. White noise. Not altogether unpleasant. I close my eyes and chant, "Om tare, tutare, ture soha."

Then it's over. Mario and I leave. It is raining. I can see cats and dogs spilling out of the clouds. I wave. It's the cat's meow. We shop. Winter squash calls to me. Then we're at acupuncturist's. I'm feeling very good. Then she starts talking about all the things I can do before the operation. "Take this, that, and the other. And arnica. Don't forget arnica. Because you'll swell. And you'll want arnica. And they'll want you to take antibiotics and that's a good thing because they will have really cut you up but you'll have to take something to help with that. Yes, there's all kinds of things you can do before and after the operation." Something shifts in my body. She puts in the needles and leaves. My head starts hurting. Mario comes in to read to me and I'm not sure I can understand what he's saying. You know, comprehend the sense. Adrenalin shoots through my body. I'm terrified. It takes everything in my being not to SCREAM, jump off the bed, and run away. EVERYTHING. Mario comes and strokes my forehead. My mouth is so dry. Finally she comes and takes out the needles and we drive home.

As we drive up to our house, the children begin arriving. I hurry into the house and put on my witch's hat and offer them candy. To sweeten their new year. Blessings, blessings, blessings. I love their costumes. I love them. I love Halloween. Strangers going to the houses of strangers and getting presents. Sweets. I love it. When the last bit of candy is gone, we turn the "in" on the "Witch Is In" sign around. Then we turn out the light.

Happy Halloween, all.

Thank you to my ancestors and all those creatures—humans and otherwise—who got me through my day. Blessed be!
dumb supper
After the Dumb Supper 0 comments

Sunday at Catherine Creek 

On Sunday, Mario and I walked Catherine Creek. The creek bed is dry. Everything is dry and crackly in this pine-oak woodland—we've always called it high desert but Russ Jolley says not. Feels like desert. The scrub oaks look more gnarled than usual. The poison oak is nearly invisible. We walked a loop, down and across the creek, past the corral and old barn which has finally fallen this year, up past the arch and up to the top of the arch, looking down at the corral, then toward the river. Following the path. Following the path. Following the path. Then we drove to Maryhill Museum for the Day of the Dead celebration and the clouds came in, and suddenly Mount Hood in the distant was more muted and mysterious than ever.

(I'm trying the photos from this walk as a slideshow on Flicker. Let me know if it doesn't work!) 1 comments

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Another View of Fitz 

According to Sheldon Drobny, co-founder of Air America and a prosecutor himself, Fitzgerald sold us out. He says he had to indict Libby; that was the LEAST he could do because Libby's crime was so obvious. Drobny writes, "The idea that Cheney, Libby, Rove and Bush did not talk to each other about the purpose of passing on this information to the press is simply not believable. And there were many ways that Fitzgerald could have proven the conspiracy in spite of Libby's lies. The fact that Libby lied would normally embolden a prosecutor to prove the underlying crime. This was not the case for Fitzgerald."

He says Fitz fumbled. I figured Rove just squirmed out of trouble as usual—he's been "playing" dirty tricks on the Dems since Watergate days and getting away with it. But maybe Drobny is right. Although I believe everyone deserves a good lawyer I don't believe lawyers should get guilty people off, and Rove's attorney is a liberal lawyer. I don't think he should have kept the smug little dropping out of jail; that's a betrayal of ethics, isn't it? 1 comments

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Happy Hallows (Updated) 

May you all have a Happy Halloween and a Stupendous Samhain. On Bill Maher last night he was complaining about adults celebrating Halloween when it's really a child's holiday. In actuality, Halloween was (and is) a community celebration. It's the night before the new year, the last of the harvest festivals. After this celebration, it is time for winter and stories. It wasn't until after the last harvest or after the wheel of the year had turned toward darkness that people began telling stories. We had a Halloween party here Thursday as part of our monthly Gathering. (I might put up photos later.) We dressed as who or what we wanted to be in the coming year. I want to be healthy, hale, and hardy. Alive in all the senses of that word. We went around the room and talked about what our costumes meant and what we wanted in the coming year. Then we exchanged symbolic gifts. Mine was a walnut: find sustenance within. (Some say ancient witches used to dance under walnut tress before they started their rituals.)

Think about taking an offering out to the crossroads—whichever crossroads you chose—a gift for Hecate. Speak your heart's desire. Who knows what will happen? Magic is afoot.

May you dance under the moon in beauty!

Blessed be!

From the Gathering:

My friend Betty (under the clock) sits next to Linda telling us tales.
partythree

My living room and my friends: Claudia, Barbara, Mara, Sheila (as a white-faced witch), Joelle (as Green Tara), Barb (as goddess)
partytwo

More goddesses, fairies, and witches
partyone

Me, dancing in the kitchen, before tights and jacket
witches

My friend Claudia said her wish for the year was to be able to laugh again. The whole group tried to get her to laugh, but she couldn't. I stood up and said, "Have you heard the story of Demeter? She was in mourning over the loss of her daughter Persephone. The whole world withered as the goddess Demeter sat in grief. Then Baubo came to serve her. She saw how sad the goddess was. So we walked up to her and—" At that point I walked over to Claudia and lifted up my dress (just as Baubo did to Demeter). Everyone laughed, including Claudia. Baubo strikes again!

The following are photographs of drawings, so they aren't perfecto, but I found them today and thought they were appropriate for this time of the year. I drew and colored them about five years ago one night when I was up until dawn.

Elemental Witches
Medium: crayon

air witch

fire witch

water witch

earth witch

Coyote Cowgirl Spurred on By Flowers
Medium: pencil
spurred on by flowers 0 comments

Friday, October 28, 2005

Good Guy 

I just listened to the entire press conference by Special Counsel Patrick Fitzerald. You can go to his website to find the press release and other pertinent documents. (Libby was indicted; Rove was not.) Man, is Fitzgerald a breath of fresh air. He actually appears to care about justice. He appears to be working for us. His words and character seem in such stark contrast to nearly every politician and news person I've heard talk about this (or anything else). I wish more people had been indicted, but, hey, that's just me. What I really hope for is justice. I listened to politicians and talking heads pick apart what Fitzgerald said (after he finished) for a few minutes and then I turned it all off. It was so clear to me that they were spinning (and not furious spinning which is about finding the truth) and not truthtelling. Liars, liars, pants on fire. If someone is distorting the truth purposely, they're lying, don't you think? Anyway, it continues.

Thank you for your work on our behalf, Mr. Fitzgerald. I appreciate it. 1 comments

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Juvie 

I went to juvenile detention today to talk about writing. I won't tell you the city or anyone's name or even describe anyone I met very carefully so that I don't reveal any thing that might be considered private.

Lucy (not her real name; she invited me to speak to the students in detention) drove us to juvenile detention which was right downtown (not my town). It was a kind of nondescript government building. Not very noticeable. Lucy pressed a buzzer (although I didn't hear it buzz) at the door. I heard a mumble through the speaker—like at a fast food drive-up—and Lucy said her name. Then she pushed the door open. We went down a short hallway past a darkened room. Inside two people in uniform sat at a console, a man and a woman. Lucy said something to me or them, and we kept walking. Got buzzed in through another door. And another. And another. Four doors all together, I think.

Then we walked down a long sloping hallway. I wanted to be very observant, take it all in, but I was listening to Lucy tell me about the place and the children, and I was fascinated. The juveniles within had committed various crimes: theft, assault, drugs, molestation, and murder She told me one or two boys might be in the classroom today. Sometimes it was overflow, sometimes the boys who had molested other boys were put in with the girls for the their own protection. Apparently since they molested other boys, they weren't considered a threat to the girls.

We walk into the "pod," where the girls lived. It reminded me of the cell block area in the cable series Oz, except smaller. Cells around an open area. (On one door, someone had taped that series of photos of a meth addict you see at nearly every police station: first she was beautiful, then ugly, then uglier, then pitted and old and even uglier. It’s the best anti-drug ad I’ve ever seen, although I don’t know if it does any good. Meth is a problem everywhere in the PNW.) An open staircase led up to the second floor of cells. Three picnic tables (of a sort) in the middle of the room on the bottom floor, each with a checker/chess board as part of it on one end.

At the end of the pod, we went through a door into a classroom that looked like any other classroom, only the students were dressed in institutional garb: the girls in dark blue, the boys in gold. Four boys sat in the desks along the farthest wall, across from the door. Girls sat in the other three rows of chairs. The teacher and Lucy talked a bit. I stood at the door looking around, a little nervous. Fourteen students. One Black, one Asian, the rest appeared to be Anglo. Four boys; ten girls. Ages: between 10 and 17? Most of them were probably 15 and 16. One girl was so small and looked so young it almost hurt to look at her, to imagine why she was here.

Lucy introduced me, and I began with, "I'm not as old as I look. I got gray hair when I was a teenager.” They seemed amused by this.

I asked how many of them had read Mercy, Unbound. One girl raised her hand and said she was in the process of reading it. The other girls who had read it were gone for various reasons. So I started talking about writing and why I wrote instead of having a discussion about Mercy, which I had planned. They seemed alert, listening, responsive. One or two looked very tired. I asked if anyone had questions, but no one asked anything except Lucy and the teacher. They wanted to know how much I made on one book and how I actually got a book published. I told them how much I was paid, and I said that actually getting a book published was generally a long hideous process. I should have been more specific, but talking about that part of writing is really boring to me, so I steered the conversation toward other topics. I read a bit of Mercy outloud. (I picked the wrong section, and it didn’t work that well). Then one of the students asked me how to get started writing. She liked to write but she had trouble getting started.

"My husband writes an entire story in one hundred words, each day," I said. "That's a good way to start. Look at other books and see how they start. I started Mercy with ‘Call me Mercy.’ I got that from Herman Melville's book Moby Dick. It starts out "Call me Ishmael.' David Copperfield begins with 'I was born.' My book The Jigsaw Woman begins with ‘I was born.’ But I put a twist on it. 'I was born. In a crossfire of hurricanes. Or something.’ Do you know what part of that is from?" They shook their heads. "Heard of the Rolling Stones?" I began singing, "I was born in a cross fire of hurricanes." They laughed. "In fact, let's do that now. We'll write a hundred word story. Let's start with 'I was born.' What's next?"

This got the students going. I encouraged them to call out lines.

Here are snippets of how it went. At one point I read, "I was born in Brooklyn, New York, the third child of 24 children. My mother was very tired. She had wrinkles and seizures. On the third day after her twenty-fourth child was born, my mother died. I took care of my 23 siblings with my drunken father."

"Only 21 siblings," one boy said.

"Why?" I asked.

Several of them said, "Because she was the third child."

I looked at them blankly (for a split second, this was all happening quickly).

One said, "Why would she take care of her two older brothers and sisters?"

"Good point," I said. I was impressed. They were paying better attention than I was.

I walked along the rows as I wrote out what they said. It was exhilarating to have them talking, participating. I didn't edit what they said. I wrote it and read it.

“Does she have a drug problem or drug problems?” I asked when someone shouted out the sentence.

“Multiple drug problems!” several said.

I read it outloud again—and again, each time we added a sentence, until we got to here:

I was born in Brooklyn, New York, the third child of twenty-four children. My mother was very tired. She had wrinkles and seizures. On the third day after her twenty-fourth child was born, my mother died. I took care of my twenty-one siblings with my drunken father. We got child support, and I had drug problems. CPS came and took away my brothers and sisters. I got away. I lived on the streets and sold dope.

"So now we need to think about this in storytelling terms," I said. "You can do whatever you like as a storyteller, but as of right now, are you rooting for this character?"

"No!" I heard.

"So do you want to do anything about that?"

"We can make it all turn out later," one girl said.

"No, there's no happily ever after in life," another said.

"So how do we end this?" I asked.

"She was killed in a drive-by shooting," a boy said.

"She got a boyfriend and they lived happily together." A girl.

"A boyfriend doesn't solve anything." A girl. "She gets a girlfriend."

"She becomes a dope lord." Girl.

"She electrocutes the boyfriend and goes to prison." A girl.

"She has 21 children and was very tired." A boy.

"Actually, as a storytelling device," I said. "That is very clever. It brings it all around again."

"How could she have 21 children if she was with a girl?" A girl. Same girl.

"They could have a surrogate or something." Another girl.

"She escaped to Canada and lived happily ever after."

"I tell you what," I said. "I want you each to come up with your own ending. If your teacher will do it with you later, I want to see what you come up with."

"Can we change what we already have?" A girl.

"Absolutely,” I said. I thought, "That's what it's all about, sugar."

I gave them copies of Coyote Cowgirl. And then we left. I don't know if they got anything from the visit, but I was glad to be with them, glad to hear their voices. 0 comments

Monday, October 24, 2005

Insanity Are Us 

Getting ready to lead a discussion about Tim O'Brien's novel In the Lake of the Woods. When I was reading about him, his essay "The Vietnam in Me" was mentioned again and again. They would write about how uncomfortably revealing it was—a kind of suicide note, a cry for help. I read it and thought this was obviously written (and read) before author blogs and websites and these reviewers were not used to writers writing about themselves. It is an extremely moving essay, but as I read it, I didn't think the author was going to kill himself. "The Vietnam in Me" was not a suicide note, it was a living note. When we write—by "we" I mean some of us who write—we are writing to save ourselves. Writing is not about annihilation. It's about redemption.

Tomorrow morning I go to juvenile detention to talk with some teenage girls. Some of them read Mercy, Unbound. I'm looking forward to talking with them.

I went to the doctor today. We're moving toward surgery, unless other things come to light of the negative kind. I could tell the doctor was angry with me for not getting help earlier. I said, "You don't understand. Coming here was like walking into a burning building." He didn't understand. I don't understand. The mind is a terrible thing. Period. We'll just keep progressing and see how it goes. He wants me on major drugs. They always do. Last night I dreamed I was living in the Night of the Living Dead. I kept trying to get the house all closed up so they couldn't get in, but I could see it wasn't going to work. So finally I just ran. And ran. And ran. Going deeper and deeper into the dark where it was safe. I awakened with my heart racing, in a sweat, glad it was a dream.

Off to the library. I hope you have all been walking in beauty.

Peace. 0 comments

Don't Shoot Until You See the Eyewall 

Mario wondered last night if the Floridians were lining up on the coast, guns in the ready. Would someone cry out, "Don't shoot until you see the eye of the hurricane!"

I kid the Floridians. Please don't shoot. 0 comments

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Sunday With the Salmon 

Today we went to Eagle Creek. The world is golden. Decaying. Glorious. I was able to stay out of my anxiety-ridden mind for a time and walk the walk. Slip-sliding on mud-covered rocks. Color of ash. Seagulls called out (nearly in glee it seemed) at the sight of the salmon carnage, quester after quester (pilgrim after pilgrim) laid out on the light-gray stones like clay art pieces ready to be fired—or corpses ready to be cremated. The stream gurgled around it all. Humans scurried toward it, too, oblivious of the end, caught up in the sheer awesome beauty of the salmon.

After about an hour of walking, we got to this waterfall—or near it. Metlako Falls. These next few photos were taken by Mario Milosevic.
falls

Sap from old growth.
pine sap

Rebar entanglement. This trail is very high up and narrow. People have slipped and died on this trail. So I hope this rebar is very entangled.
rebar entanglement

We were hoping for some perspective from this photo. We're over 1,000 feet up.
not falling

I took the salmon photos. You can see the seagulls and the people.
fall and humans

View from above.
salmon clutch

More salmon.
sunday salmon group

You can really see the flesh coming off of them now. In this photo, you can hardly tell it's in water.
sunday salmon 0 comments

Friday, October 21, 2005

Is It Finally Happening? 

Will the Sox win the World Series and the Emperor's tailors bite the dust? We're all on tenterhooks.

Did you know that was "tenterhooks?" I thought it was "tender hooks." But I looked it up to find out what the etymology was and couldn't find it. Did some searching and discovered it was tenterhook. What's a tenterhook? It's "a hooked nail for securing cloth on a tenter." Oh really? So what's a tenter? "A framework upon which milled cloth is stretched for drying without shrinkage." No, that doesn't tell me how it evolved into our present-day expression of waiting in suspense. But there you are.

I'm not really on tenterhooks about the Sox. The umping has been abysmal during the playoffs, so I'm not really sure who should have won their various series, but I am glad the Sox are playing. Maybe Shoeless Joe Jackson will be able to rest in peace. Although my guess is he already does.

I am looking forward (I think) to seeing what the Special Counsel does in regards to Plamegate. He has a website now, by the way, with some documents on it. He will announce next week what he is or isn't going to do. Looks like Judith Miller's idea of going to jail to spruce (or should I say "aspen") up her image isn't working, if indeed that was her intent. (See PDF in this story to read the letter from Libby to Miller.) Her bosses apparently told her she had to do a story on what happened or she couldn't come back to work. I think they should fire her. Should have fired her. People keep saying she went to jail for a story she never wrote. She never wrote the story because her editor wouldn't let her. (One of the few times they reined her in.)

If you understood this post, you have a better brain than I. Than me. Than all of us.

Ta! By the way, our aspen leaves are turning here. Along with everything else. Very pretty. That's about as poetic as I'm gonna get tonight. 0 comments

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Butch 

I've been doing the medical crap and trying to get over this and that illness. Bleck. In-between all, I've also started a new novel, Butch. I had the idea a few years ago when Mario and I were on one of our road trips to the Southwest. We'll see how it goes. As always when I do this, remember it is first draft. Many things could change before I finish it. Enjoy.

Butch

Near Taos, New Mexico, 1918, or thereabouts. Space and Time being a continuum and all.

Butch MacLean could shoot, sit a horse, spin a yarn, track a varmint or villain, and pleasure a woman better than anyone alive. Butch’s particular talents held little value for the new folks pouring into the Southwest like locusts to a barbecue, but the old-timers still appreciated and tolerated the likes of Butch MacLean.

On that late night in April no one fussed much when Butch kicked open the door to Angel’s Heaven on Earth, while holding a pistol in each hand, and called, “I am here to rescue Miss Angel. Everyone out now or I will be forced to shoot you.”

The five or so men still in the saloon left quickly, backs to the wall, watching Butch as they scurried out. Butch had been known to take pot shots at more than just rabbits. Thirty-seconds later, the room was clear, except for the smoke, and Angel came from around the bar, hands on her cinched waist, blond curls framing her face and tickling the top of her bosom.

Butch walked toward Angel, guns still in the air, and leaned over and kissed her pearly white neck, and then her breasts--one at a time.

“Don’t be doin’ that unless you mean it,” Angel said.

“Darlin’,” Butch said. “I always mean it. I don’t have an insincere bone in my entire body.”

“Dammit, Butch,” Angel said. “Those were paying customers. Someday I’m gonna really be in trouble and nobody will believe it!”

“Just call me the cowboy who cried wolf,” Butch said.

“Cowgirl,” Angel said.

“Aww, Angie,” Butch said as she dropped the pistols onto the bar. “I was just trying to have some fun.”

“Sometimes you are more of an asshole than any man I know,” Angel said. “The law is gonna put you in jail if you keep doing this kind of thing. Just wait until I close and sneak in the back like all my other girls do. Now I’m gonna let the boys back in.” She started walking toward the door.

“Let me just take a trip up your dress first,” Butch said.

Angel laughed.

“I’ll be glad to,” she said. “After the boys finish their drinks. Now you can either stay here and be good or come back later and be bad.” She opened the door and leaned outside. “Come on in, boys. She promises not to pistol whip anybody.”

Doc Broome stumbled in first, followed by Merle Connelly and Johnny Jack. Butch sighed and turned back to the bar. This was not the ending to the night she had envisioned. She started to pick up her revolvers, but Angel slapped her hands down on them, pulled them away, and slipped them out of sight behind the bar.

“You can get them later,” she said. “You know I don’t allow weapons in my establishment.”

“Well, then,” Butch said. “I had better leave, since my body is a weapon. A weapon of love.”

Hearing all this--since Butch did not understand the concept of a whisper--Johnny Jack and Merle laughed as they climbed back onto their bar stools.

Butch leaned close to Johnny Jack’s right ear. “You remember, dontcha , Jay Jay?”

Merle and Angel stopped and stared at Johnny Jack, whose dark skin was turning darker.

“Hey,” Butch said. “He was a lot better lookin’ back then, and I was a lot less particular.”

With that, Butch staggered out of the bar. Or maybe she swaggered. It depended upon who you asked. Memories fog the truth, distort it, amplify it. Or expose it. But everyone appeared to be in good spirits, especially Butch, when she left Angel’s Heaven on Earth. Rosey stood next to someone’s automobile, her black and white coat nearly fluorescent in the moonlight. Her white tail swept across her black rump. Butch patted Rosey’s almost all white face. Black circled her left eye, and white spread across her neck, barrel, and flank and down her left rear leg like a kind of jagged almost-horse-shaped white continent across the sea of black horse.

“I need to take a leak, Rosey. Then we’ll be on our way. Or maybe not. Where’s George? Have you seen George? Oh fer Chrissakes, I’m talking to a horse’s rear end.” She giggled. “Not so much different than talking with a man.”

She had come into town earlier with George, but he had business at the other end of this street a few blocks from the plaza. The nearly full moon lit up the ramshackle wooden buildings that seemed to lean one against the other. On the few occasions Butch actually noticed this particular bent to the buildings--like now--she wondered what actually kept them up. “Whiskey, of course,” Butch whispered. “We all need something to keep us standing.”

She breathed deeply. A romp with Angel would have been fun, but this night air was bracing, nearly knocking the drunk off of her. She gazed up at the clear dark sky. The stars shivered and winked. She could hear the whisper of the acequia madre even though it was some distance away. She grinned. The full moon, silence, and alcohol made her senses preternatural. A chorus of coyotes began yipping at the moon. The cottonwoods across the street and down a bit stood tall and nearly bare in the moonlight, like tangled members of a Day of the Dead tableau, or a Danse Macabre. Despite this, the air smelled of spring the way only New Mexican air can: like dust, peppers, and the color blue.

Butch started walking away from the buildings and into the night, forgetting why she was there, only wanting to get closer to the sound of the coyotes and the mother ditch. Then she heard a woman cry out in the darkness. Instantly she ran toward the sound, up over a silver rise and then down again. Running in the desert was just plain stupid; running at night in the desert was a death wish. However, Butch could never resist the cry of a woman in trouble. And she was drunk.

Suddenly, she ran into a brick wall--or a person. They both fell back onto the ground. Butch jumped instantly to her feet. Nothing or no one was going to catch her on the ground: not a scorpion or a rattler certainly.

The body she knocked into was a bit slower getting up off the ground.

“Are you all right?” Butch asked. Butch always talked in a kind of drawl. Not Texan. Good Lord, no. Not Southern. Kind of Mexican, Native American, and Arizonian all rolled into one singsong drawl. She reached her hand out. The man stood on his own, quickly dusting off his chaps with one arm; he kept the other arm bent at his side. He wore two ammo belts crossed over his chest like a Mexican bandito; a cowboy hat shaded his face from Butch

“You Pancho Villa or something?” Butch asked.

The man went to step around her. Butch moved to block him.

“I heard a woman cry out,” Butch said, noticing a black shape near a medium-sized palo verde whose yellow flowers looked bright white in the darkness. “That her?”

The man shook his head. “I was the one who yelled,” he said, his English accented. Mexican. Clipped almost. From the rico class?

“I was thrown from my horse and was trying to get my bearings. I stumbled over that--that body. I yelled.” He hesitated. “Like a woman. My voice...rises when I am...afraid.”

“Happens to the best of us,” Butch said. “I scream like a woman too. Nothing wrong with that.”

“But you are a woman?” the man asked.

“That’s a fact,” Butch said, “I am pleased to report.” She kept her eye on the Bandito as she went toward the body. She squatted next to it. A man. She found his arm and felt for a pulse at his wrist.

“He’s not dead.”

“Shit.” The English word out of the man’s mouth sounded desperate.
Butch stood and looked at the Bandito. “You wanna tell me something about this?”

“No,” he said. “I don’t know you. I don’t know him.”

Butch could see the man’s arm now in the moonlight. Part of his sleeve was dark.

“He shot you?” Butch said. “I didn’t hear a shot. Looks like it’s bleeding heavy.”

“He shot me some time back,” he said quickly, as though relieved to speak of it. “He and his compañero have been tracking me. My ex-wife and her husband took my daughter. I went to México to get her back, and her husband sent his thugs after me. After I made...fuss.”

Butch laughed. “A fuss, eh? I kinda like making a fuss now and then.” Something about this young man tickled her. Like Angel’s blonde curls.

“I did fall from my horse. And I did find this man tracking me. I hit him with a rock from behind. I don’t know where the other man is.”

Butch tried to remember if she had seen any strangers at Angel’s.

The man on the ground moaned.

“Come on,” Butch said. “I guess I better get you outta here. The doc is drunker than I am, so I’ll take you home. TomA and Trick will either cure you or kill ya.”

“I’d prefer the cure,” the man said.

“Wouldn’t we all.”

Butch and the Bandito hurried over the rise and down again, toward Rosey. Butch untied the horse and got up into the saddle. She reached her arm down and helped the man up behind her.

“I’m Butch MacLean, by the way,” she said as she turned Rosey around. She gently kicked the horse into a gallop.

“I’m Mateo Cruz,” the man said.

“Yeah, well, hang on, Bandito,” Butch said. “We’re gonna get out of Dodge.”

A moment later, the darkness swallowed the trio. 1 comments

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Wilma 

Wilma is the strongest storm in recorded history (in the Atlantic). Geez Louise. They think it'll hit Florida in a few days. Mario said, "Well, I hope they're getting their guns ready. If Wilma threatens them, they can shoot it." He's so right. They must feel so much safer now.

But I kid the Floridians. I hope everyone will be safe.

Did you notice the Republican talking heads are now bashing Special Counsel Fitzgerald? I just heard one guy on MSNBC say this was the worst prosecutorial misconduct EVER. I just started laughing. The guy hasn't done anything yet, but the spin machine is going strong. What if he doesn't indict anyone? Are the Republsicans going to say, "Oops, actually Fitzergald is the greatest prosecutor in history."

Ahhhh, ain't it great? 1 comments

Monday, October 17, 2005

Miss Run Amok 

Judith Miller is out of jail. Have you read the New York Time version of what happened? And her version? They're long but worth it to see how badly this was all handled. If this is the newspaper of note for the Democrats, they (and we) are in trouble. Just the little bit about Miller's reporting "style" is frightening. It appears (to me) that she based a great deal of her reporting on "he said." You can't do that. You have to verify what someone said. Verify. Find another source. Then another. That's what a reporter is supposed to do—not just write down what someone says. (Stenographers to power.) And Miller's memory is strangely faulty. I've got a piss-poor memory, but she appears to have a worse one. If she truly has such a bad memory, she should take better notes. And if she really didn't remember who outted Victoria Plame to her, why did she could to jail to protect that source...the one she didn't remember? Plus the letter Libby (Cheney's chief of staff) wrote to her in jail seems like something out of a LeCarre novel, full of code and hints of what she should and should not say. Or else it isn't. See what you think. Plus, Miller had security clearance; she could look at secret documents. But she could not remember if she still had that clearance when she was talking to Libby, and she didn't think he knew either. WHAT? Should our government be giving security clearance to someone who doesn't really know/understand if, when, and how she has clearance. Or is she lying? She sounds truly clueless. (Funny how when people go to court they are suddenly stupid: me? Honeychild, I can't even boil water.) Please, Special Counsel Fitzgerald: arrest these people and get them out of our government. NOW. 0 comments

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Leave My Children Alone 

As you know, the No Child Left Behind Act requires schools to give military recruiters confidential information about our children (our in the collective sense). Now there's a tool you can use to opt out of this particular obscenity and protect your children from military recruiters in the school. Go to Leave My Child Alone. From there you can "opt out." Also check out the petition to change the law so that military recruiters cannot get information from the school about your child unless you specifically give permission. Even if you don't have children, check out the site and sign the petition and pass it on! Thanks for the link, Paul. 0 comments

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Gay Teens Hanged in Iran 

Did you know in July 2005 two boys "accused" of homosexuality were hanged in Iran? Thousands of men and women in Iran have been executed for the crime of homosexuality since the fundamentalists took over.

I have no words after looking at the photographs (not of the hanging, just before). 0 comments

Starhawk in New Orleans 

Who Will Take Out the Garbage: A Report from New Orleans by Starhawk

It’s like a scene out of a post-apocalyptic movie—a crowd of people gathered in the street outside the local tavern in the Bywater district of the Ninth Ward. The lower Ninth Ward, a few blocks away, is the scene of the worst destruction, but this eclectic neighborhood, one of the centers of alternative culture in New Orleans, has fortunately escaped heavy damage. Still, roofs are off, houses are molding away from the inside, and the streets are piled with garbage that, six weeks after the hurricane, has not been picked up.

The people gathered are black, white, gay, straight, a motley mix of artists and old-time Cajuns and circus performers, all talking madly and hugging each other and drinking beer. Malik, a founder of the Common Ground Collective, calls them to order. He makes me think of an old lion, with his mane of dreadlocks, turning his big head slowly from side to side, surveying an unruly pride. He outlines the work Common Ground has done in Algiers, tells them that if they can organize themselves, Common Ground can provide supplies and volunteers. Everyone is talking at once and interrupting each other, but there’s a lively, charged energy.

“What do you need here?” Malik asks.

“Garbage,” people thunder back. There’s a chaotic but unanimous agreement that garbage pickup is their first priority, and several people begin simultaneously to outline their failed attempts to get the city to do something.

Malik stops them. “If the city won’t do it, you got to do like we did across the river, and do it yourself. Now, who wants to do that? Who will volunteer?”

Most of the people raise their hands.

“When do you want to begin?”

“Now!”

We meet the next morning in Washington Square Park, where a kitchen from the Rainbow Family is providing the best free food in town, far, far better than the Styrofoam-packed chili dogs or military ration MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) available from the official relief organizations. Over eggs and pancakes, we get organized.

Who will take out the garbage? It’s the question always posed to any vision of utopia. Who will do the dirty work?

We will. Come on, it’ll be fun, you’ll enjoy it. And if we just start doing what needs to be done, others will join us and the work will go fast and pleasantly.

About fifteen of us head out, a mix of Common Ground volunteers and far fewer of the local community than raised their hands the night before We start at the corner by the bar where we met the night before, and begin picking up sacks of trash, plastic bags full of rotting food waste, and all the debris ejected from people’s flooded homes and shops. The small corner store has half its roof off and its contents on the street. We sling the bags into the back of pickup trucks, and pile it all on the meridian divider of a main street nearby, where the city can’t easily overlook it. We separate brush from mixed garbage, and stack anything usable separately. It’s hard work, and dirty, physical and sweaty and fun, like going to the gym, but more fun really because we’re working together. And satisfying as only cleaning up a really, really dirty mess can satisfy.

Tomorrow we will try to get a flat-bed trailor and pick up refrigerators. Almost every house on the block—in the entire area, has a dead refrigerator, some taped shut. People are warned not to open them inside the house, that you can’t get rid of the smell. You can clean them time and again with bleach, leave them baking in the sun for days—and still days later the smell will remain and bugs will be pouring out of the innards. The phenomenal waste of the embodied energy in all these appliances is appalling, but I can’t think of any real good use for them myself except possibly to fill them with cob, cement them shut and stack them for natural building blocks. A refrigerator-block wall—good insulation, poor thermal mass, and really hard to get anything else to attach solidly. And the bugs would still be a problem. But these are the sorts of things the mind ponders while picking up trash.

Meanwhile Juniper makes a valiant attempt to alert the city agencies that the trash will need to be picked up. She is told to call 211, for Emergency Services. Emergency Services tells her that the Southern Baptist Convention is responsible for solid waste disposal. Huh?? Even in Bush’s new faith-based world, we can’t quite believe this. She tries the local waste management company—they say that the mayor has replaced them the week before with the Army Corps of Engineers. Juniper eventually gets through to some puzzled woman at a phone service in Tennessee from the Corps who has no idea what she’s talking about. After an hour and twenty-five phone calls, she’s back to 211 and the Baptists. Now, the Baptists are a fine religious organization but we had no idea they were experts in solid waste management. Maybe it’s the immersion thing—some deep religious connection to cleanliness? Accept Jesus into your heart, and He will rapture your dead refrigerator into some other dimension? If every Baptist in the south were to suddenly appear in New Orleans and pick up even one sack of garbage, we could get the place clean in a day, but really, a few Bobcats and some big garbage trucks would actually be more to the point. Couldn’t we just go back to the Mafia? Or, what a radical idea, what if everyone in the city and the country regularly tithed some of their income to provide the services everyone needs, so we could pool our money and afford things like bulldozers and regular trash pickup that actually got around to all the neighborhoods where people lived? We used to have such a thing—it was called ‘government’ before Bush and his cronies on the far right began to systematically starve it and convince people that it was better to depend on religious charity to solve all their problems.

But the Baptists are not all that well schooled in solid waste management—we’re not sure they even know that the City of New Orleans is expecting them to pick up trash in the Ninth Ward. In any case, they are not in evidence here. Instead, it’s a group of neighborhood folks and a few volunteers I know for a fact are Pagans, anarchists, atheists and other undesirables, who have just started doing it.

Across the street, a battered white house sports a big American flag. The man inside, a big Cajun guy in a baseball cap, comes over and offers us water. He’s an ex-marine who used to train the Contras in Honduras to attack the Sandinistas, I’m told, until he became sickened by what was going on. He’s delighted we’re cleaning up the neighborhood, tells us stories of the hurricane, how after it was over the neighbors all got together and had a big barbecue with the meat that would otherwise rot in their freezers. He tells us how he worried about the older black folks across the street who had diabetes, tried to get them fruit and keep them fed.

“I don’t understand racism,” he says. “I’ve got six kinds of blood in my veins. My people been here for generations, five thousand years. I’m part Chittimacha Indian. The reason I look white—my mother married a German, but my great-grandaddy was a six foot African man.”

He was one of the snipers, who sat on his roof with his rifle to shoot suspected looters. The area is full of signs that say, “We are home, you are being watched!” “Mean dogs inside.” “This area protected by Smith and Wesson.”

He put up his flag as soon as the wind stops—but he hates the government. To him, that flag means the American people.

“This is so great,” he says as he brings us over cold water and hand sanitizer. “And that it’s people doing it, not the government.”

At the end of the day we go over to BJ’s, the neighborhood bar where everyone hangs out. “This is our living room,” one woman tells me. They are newly back—today is the first day many people have come home, and it is so beautiful to see how happy everyone is to be back. They are running up to each other and hugging their neighbors, laughing and crying. One of them buys beers for everybody on the cleanup crew—we have forty offered to us within half an hour, more than we can drink.

It’s what’s so wonderful about New Orleans, and so different from most cities in this country—these tight-knit communities, where neighbors know each other and care about each other and have place where people go and meet and hang out together, Cajuns and radicals and artists and circus performers, newcomers and old timers all.

“Click your heels together three times—we’re home!” says another big guy in a baseball cap, beaming. They all hug us and thank us. They’re dealing with the damage in their own homes, trying to clean up and clear out and make them liveable before they get back to work—if they still have jobs.

“But will people come back, do you think?” I ask a blond woman who is trying to get me inside to play pool.

“They’ll be back,” she assures me. “You won’t be able to keep them away. We have a neighborhood blog, and we’ve kept in contact, and everything all over it is all, “when can we go home?’ ‘When will they let us back?’ ‘We want to go home!’

Then Juniper and Lisa and I head out. We decide to drive through the lower Ninth Ward. Today is the first day that people are being let back in, to all but the very worst-hit neighborhoods. But we talk our way through the checkpoints, and drive through the blasted streets where the levee broke and the homes were assaulted by a mini-tsunami, a twelve-foot high wall of water. It’s a scene of unbelievable devastation. Streets reduced to piles of rubble, houses that are nothing but a roof in a sea of mud. One house has floated off its foundation and rests atop a car. A truck has careened into the side of a house, its front end resting on the lintel of a second story window. Other houses are simply piles of wood and scattered shingles.

There is no going back here, no happy homecoming for this neighborhood. No bomber, no invading army, could level it more thoroughly. It is Iraq brought home, literally, because the agent of destruction here was not the hurricane, but human neglect and warped priorities. The money that should have maintained the levees, like the National Guard that could have contained the looters, went to Iraq. Homeland Security, brought to you by Bush and neocons. Do you feel safer, now?

We walk briefly on the street closest to the break in the levee, a sea of churned mud. A room is ripped open, the whole house destroyed, but inside, a chandelier hangs intact. I’m thinking of a story I read somewhere, about a poor Southern family, where the mother’s deepest desire, her symbol of everything that meant comfort and safety and beauty and a good life, was a chandelier. In the story, they finally got one, and then some catastrophe struck, I don’t remember what. But this chandelier, intact among the ruins, seems to symbolize that some hopes and dreams can survive even this devastation. They might not be my hopes, or my dreams, or my vision of what is beautiful, but they are someone’s.

And that’s my own particular faith—that if we support each others’ dreams, if we deal with the garbage, if we take care of each other and do what needs to be done, some beauty will be born out of all of this mess. Click your heels together. There’s no place like home.

Starhawk

Feel free to post, forward, and reprint this article for non-commercial purposes. All other rights reserved. 0 comments

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

To Protect and To Serve 

I can't figure out this beating in New Orleans. You know the one where three white policemen beat the blood out of a 64-year-old black man. In every single debate I have heard or seen on this issue, the talking heads etc. keep saying, "Well, we don't know the whole story. We don't know if he was drunk or not." SO WHAT? The kind of beating that man got could only be "justified" if he was a raving lunatic about to destroy the freaking world. You mean if he was drunk it was okay to beat the shit out of him? The other thing they say is that he was not complying. Again: SO WHAT? And what does that mean? If someone was beating the crap out of me and spraying me in the face with pepper spray, I don't believe I could physically comply. I think I would instinctually fight for me life. Wouldn't you?

Resistance is futile.

Don't count on it. 0 comments

Monday, October 10, 2005

I Am Home... 

This is a wonderful piece written by Cindy Sheehan.

She quotes Thich Nhat Hahn: "Some people think it's a miracle to walk on water. I think it is a miracle to walk on the earth in peace."

Ain't that the truth.

I have arrived. I am home... 0 comments

Friday, October 07, 2005

More Walkin' With Da Fishes 

Up one part of the river.
salmon up

salmon 3

salmon 4

This is what the salmon are climbing!
salmon climb

Self-portrait, going up stream
self portrait in boots

Resting? I saw several salmon that I thought were on their last breath, so to speak, only to see them sometime later suddenly burst into life, so I don't know if this salmon is resting or if it is dying.
salmon resting

And that's the end of that tale...tail?
salmon 6 0 comments

Freedom of Speech R.I.P.? 

A teacher in North Carolina asked her students to demonstrate what our Bill of Rights means. One student expressed the right to dissent by creating an anti-Bush poster. The student took a photo of Bush, put a hand with the thumbs down next to Bush and took a photograph of it. The student went to Wal-Mart to get the photos processed. A Wal-Mart employee called the police; the police turned the matter over to the Secret Service; the Secret Service interrogated the student, took the poster (secretly) from the classroom, and interrogated the teacher. They told the teacher someone higher up would determine whether the student would be INDICTED or not. I think we should all put up anti-Bush posters EVERYWHERE and we should all boycott Wal-Mart. (We don't shop there so it'll be easy for us.) Wow. 1 comments

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Patricia Went to D.C.! 

Patricia Lay-Dorsey, Windchime Walker and FS reader, went to the rallies in D.C. Somehow I had missed that on her blog when it happened; I've been a bit preoccupied and offline. You'll find her pics (and info) from the peace rallies here. Congratulations, Patricia. 0 comments

Swimming with the Fishes 

Okay, maybe not swimming but standing in the water with them. These photos are of the salmon at Eagle Creek, coming home to spawn...and then die.

The white patches on these salmon are where they've been battered during their trip upstream. This group is not as bruised and battered as most.

salmon 1

This salmon was moving fast. It's in focus while the stream above and around it is out of focus.
salmon 4

In this photo you can see at least five living salmon; the white one is dead on the floor of the creek.
salmon 3

This is a view from above. It's difficult to see but the darkness is all salmon, mostly deep dark maroon-colored salmon swimming in circles where they take turns trying to jump up the dam. Ain't working.
salmon group

When I first got to the creek, several of them checked me out. A couple of them twitched their tails and splashed me.
salmon 5

I had human company, too. Poor guy didn't have boots so he was stuck on dry land while I was swimming with my buds.
salmon 3

I decided to take a walk after I communed with the salmon. I hadn't been on this trail since I got poison oak last year. Let's hope I didn't get it this time.
Not sure what this is but I like it.
leaf

Maidenhair Fern looking as new and fresh as springtime.
maidenhair fern

Fresh new ferns along the way.
new ferns

Walking in Old Growth and Sweet Light
eagle creek trail

This photo is a west view. You can see the top of the dam in the distance. No fish in this part of the creek.
eagle creek trail 3

Yellow darkness in Bigfoot country.
more yellow

yellow 2 comments

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Ordinary Life 

The parts of ordinary life I don't like are doctors and dentists and tests and crap like that. It fills the day with...yuckiness. Gotta get my mind right. Was too sick to go to the dentist—which I really wanted to do—and instead spent the day moaning on the couch. Wanted to get the dentist over with. I'm not afraid of dentists. I don't use Novocain. At least I didn't last time I got a filling and a crown. My new dentist seems nervous about me not getting numb. I tried to reassure him that it'll be all right. I do some acupressure while the dentist works, and it doesn't hurt much, plus I don't feel so wiped out afterward if I don't get a shot. Yes, I know this sounds bizarre. The first time someone told me they didn't use Novocain I thought they were nuts. But Novocain has epinephrine (or the like) in it, and that causes a wee bit of anxiety in my already nervosa body. Anyway, I wanted to get the crown in and over with, but it was not to be. The world (in the form of vertigo) was spinning too fast.

I also missed the annual Artists of the Gorge Art Show opening at the library last night, an October ritual I hated to miss, especially since it was dedicated to Linda. Mario said she looked beautiful, and she told me she had a great time.

Today Mario and I drove to Portland for him to get his stitches out. We got to the clinic a few minutes early. Mario went in, got the stitches out, and left the office before his 4:00 appointment time. When has that EVER happened? Have you ever gone to a doctor's appointment and gotten in on time, let alone gotten out BEFORE the appointment? We were astonished.

We celebrated by getting take-out to eat with the baseball game. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough cash and my credit card was blocked. I couldn't figure out why, since we only use it in emergencies and we don't owe anything on it. I was embarrassed; I don't know why. Mario ended up counting out quarters on the bar to pay for our dinner. I called the credit card company on the way home, and they had blocked our account because someone had called them yesterday, so they believed our "account had been compromised" (again). This made us late getting home so we only got to see the last out of the Knee Hi series (Red and White Sox).

So now the next series is on in the background (Damn Yankees and LA Angels). The players all look juiced. Unless I can find a team that doesn't look steroided to the max I'm just not interested. It would be fun to see the White Sox go to the World Series.

I know this is just trivia I write about tonight. Ah well, kids. It's either this or nada.

Much going on in the world. I feel strangely detached from it. I watch Tom DeLie flap his gums and wonder if he'll get away with it. I watch the Wrong (popularly called the Right) go apoplectic (I started to write apocalyptic) over Bush's nominee to the Supreme Court. Do you think maybe he picked her because she knows all his dirty little secrets, and he wants someone on his side when the Valerie Plame Wilson leak scandal goes to the Supreme Court? Everyone says they don't know her views. Of course they do. The Emperor surrounds himself with sycophants. She believes what he believes. Period. And Judith Miller. Well, you know what I think about all that: she went to jail to burnish her image. I haven't changed my mind. That special prosecutor better have an indictment for someone besides a journalist, however. And soon.

Ah well. We've all got our demons. That's just life. 0 comments

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Spawning 

Been going this way and yon. Too raw to speak of it all. Trying to find the quiet. Yesterday I took the bandage off Mario's incision. Four stitches near his elbow. The healing wound reminded me of the stitches on Frankenstein's monster. Crosses holding the skin together. Beautiful, really, how the body heals. Still, I don't like to see my sweetheart cut or hurt. An oval of yellow bruising surrounded the incision. I wanted to kiss it, but I didn't.

I drove to Portland to listen to a monk talk about dream meditation and Bon shamanism. I was more interested in the shamanism, but no one had told the monk he was supposed to talk about it, so he didn't. I left before it was over after I looked up and the roof spun. A touch of vertigo to remind me all was not balanced? I drove home. Spent most of the night on the couch trying to keep the world from spinning.

Today on the way home from an appointment in Portland, we stopped at Eagle Creek to see if the salmon were running. It has been raining for days now so the rivers and creeks are finally passable for the fish. I put on my tall rubber boots, waded into the Creek, and stood with the salmon. Rain fell. A kingfisher flew overhead. In the clear water, salmon moved. Crypt-keeper salmon. Night of the Living Dead salmon. If one had that mindset. It's sad and beautiful watching these beautiful and decrepit creatures doing what comes naturally: spawning.

Last time I waded with the fish, in the fall of 2003, I wrote this: Later, Mario and I drove to Eagle Creek to take a quick hike in the break in the storm. It was cold and windy. I remembered walking here just three weeks ago when it was still in the 70's and huge yellow leaves drifted from the vine maples with each gust of wind, cluttering the path like falling stars, sizzling with beauty as they settled into the earth and became part of a colorful mosaic for our feet. Mario and I had watched the sweet light make its way through the autumn-colored trees and mist that rose like frosty exhales from the giant Douglas firs: we were speechless.

That day, we stopped at the creek and watched the salmon struggling to get upstream to spawn, their bodies blood-colored, undulating with determination to go up, up, up. Sometimes they leapt into the air, and they were all motion and stillness at the same time, and my knees weakened to witness the beauty of it all.

That same warm week, I returned to Eagle Creek alone, carrying brand new rubber boots I had bought at the hardware store in town. I walked carefully down to the creek near where the salmon were spawning. I started to step into the water when I noticed these rose-colored beads at the river's edge. Bus loads of children had been here each time we visited, so I thought someone's necklace had broken, and the beads had fallen into the clear cold water. I crouched closer to the water. Or were they pieces of candy? They were different colors. Rose. Pink. Light orange. And so perfectly round. Exquisite. Gems. I wished I had a necklace made out of them. Some were salmon-colored. Maybe even most of them.

Salmon-colored? Wait a minute. I stood and looked into the middle of the creek. These salmon- and rose-colored pearls were scattered all over the creek bed. They were salmon eggs! Wow. Watching my step, I went into the shallow water. After a few feet, I stopped and watched the salmon all around me. Most now were white and red, raggedy, falling apart after their long journey. One salmon swam up next to me. Part of her flesh was falling off of her tail, and I could see her tail bones. Another fish, about a foot from me, kept turning on her side and wiggling. After she did this, another salmon came and undulated over where the first salmon had been. I assumed I was witnessing the laying and fertilizing of the salmon eggs which would lay at the bottom of the creek, some to become food for other creatures, some to become salmon fingerlings in the spring.

As I stood in the water amongst these sacred creatures, I wondered if I was one of the returning salmon, on my last fin, so to speak, or one of those pearls of wisdom on the sandy bottom of the creek waiting for a new beginning. Were we all ending and beginning constantly?


No eggs today. The cold water around my boots made my teeth chatter. I reached for Mario's hand, and we walked back to the car. I always find it so moving to see these fish. I pray to the salmon when I eat it. Such tenacity. We should all be so lucky to have that kind of drive to bring ourselves to fruition. To become ourselves wholly. Holy.

Blessed be. 0 comments

Monday, October 03, 2005

Calls to Action 

Here's a link to photos from the three days of rallys and marches in D.C.

Also, here's a link to the NRDC to try and stop Congress from allowing drilling for oil in Arctic Refuge.

Starhawk is on her way to the New Orleans area. She says, "Hurricanes Katrina and Rita affected an area the size of Great Britain. While the official government response has ranged from inadequate to abusive, hundreds and thousands of ordinary people have volunteered time, skills, and resources to help the survivors. As the flood waters recede, relief is still needed in many communities. The Common Ground collective in Algiers, a suburb of New Orleans, has organized community-based services, a medical clinic, and resisted attempts to evict all the remaining inhabitants of the city. The Rainbow Gathering kitchens have been feeding thousands. The Veterans for Peace have been using their skills and experience to help bring supplies and needed services to people.

For the month of October, the Green Earth Cluster will establish a base for people with skills in ecological design, permaculture, and/or roots in earth-based spirituality to connect together and volunteer our help. Many of us have been together in Pagan Cluster actions in mobilizations, or taken part in Green Bloc projects to support community gardens or challenge corporate control by planting a vision of the world we want. Now we have an opportunity to use our skills on a much larger scale.

In early October, we’ll be setting up an encampment on a friend’s land near the Houma Reservation, about an hour and a half from New Orleans, working on offering support to the elders and community members whose homes were flooded and now need to be cleaned, demolded, and made habitable. The work is not likely to be glamorous, and we may or may not have opportunities to do permaculture, building or greening projects, but our intention is to do what is most needed. Later, our base and focus may change as new needs are identified.

Who is needed? Anyone who can work hard, stay healthy in tough conditions, be self-reliant, and do what needs to be done. People with carpentry and building skills, trauma and crisis counseling skills, and medical training are always needed, but so are those who can do driving, general cleanup, and are simply willing to take on unpleasant tasks. We all need to be able to work sensitively in a variety of different cultural milieus.

Below is the original Pagan Cluster Call to Action. Out of sensitivity to the local, heavily Christian culture of the area, we are calling ourselves the Green Earth Cluster. If you are moved to join us, contact information is at the bottom of this post. There is also information on how to donate money (by Paypal or by tax-deductible check) to help purchase needed supplies."

Pagan Cluster Call to Action
Hurricane Relief Mobilization
October, 2005

The Green Earth Cluster is planning to create a presence in the hurricane affected areas for at least the month of October, around which we can reach out to support the relief and rebuilding work of the local individuals and communities in the affected areas.

What will we be doing?
Many of the details will remain fluid as we respond to opportunities and shifting needs. We might be nailing tarps to roofs, we might be chipping wood, we might be listening to people, we might be offering healing at a community medical center, we might be building water filtration systems, we might be helping to organize, we might be sifting through trash and building compost piles. In all things we will be grounding.

What spirit do we hope people will bring with them?
We have the intention of listening and being open to the needs and desires of those who have survived this disaster and to be willing to adapt our response to what we learn. Come with a spirit of willingness to do whatever is needed.

What kind of support can I expect?
It is our intention to create a space to support each other as we reach out to others. There are at least two buses and an RV coming. Accommodations will be very rough and might include tent camping or sleeping on floor space; and will require a fair degree of self sufficiency and self responsibility for your own health and groundedness.

How might I get there?
You can drive there—better yet find others from your area willing to go and drive together. Borrow or rent a truck or van and collect needed supplies from your local community to bring down. You could also fly in and out of the New Orleans, airport.

The Living River bus, a grease bus with Elizabeth and Deborah, will be leaving from North Carolina on October 5 and they are willing to pick 10 people up at airports along the way (Charlotte, NC, must arrive by October 4; Atlanta, GA must arrive before noon on October 5; or Birmingham, AL, must arrive by 2 PM October 5). Four people can get rides back to those airports with Elizabeth on October 17th. Contact Elizabeth at revolutionaryradical@yahoo.com or 336-877-5571 to make arrangements.

What time frame do I need to come for?
Our expectation is that people will come and go as their schedule and other considerations allow. We will attempt to coordinate those able to offer transportation to and from the mobilization with those that need it, however we ask that you consider your transportation and scheduling needs and do your best to have a plan to meet those needs before arriving.

What should I do if I want to come?
If you can come for any amount of time, email katrina@pagancluster.org with your name and phone number(let us know if it is a cell or land line), the time you will be coming, how you will be getting there, any particular skills or material support you will be bringing with you and any needs that you want the PC community to be aware of.

What else can I do?
* You can donate supplies for Katrina survivors and for the Pagan Cluster community while we are there. The supplies that are most needed change day to day and by location, so please check here to find out what is most needed. If you have supplies that you are willing to donate, please e-mail katrina@pagancluster.org with what you have and we will help to coordinate how to get it there.

* You can donate much needed money which will be used to help finance this mobilization and hopefully have enough to provide more of the needed supplies. Contributions can by made through PayPal here. Please mail checks to: Alliance for Community Trainers; 1405 Hillmont; Austin, Texas 78704. Indicate on the check that the donation is for Pagan Cluster Katrina Relief Mobilization.

* You can pass along this call to as many supportive communities that you know of in order to strengthen the webs of connections and support.

For more information:
An e-mail to katrina@pagancluster.org will get a response as soon as possible. If you need to call someone, you can call Juniper at 512-431-7988 or Elizabeth at 336-877-5571.

There is also useful and updated information here, here, and here. 0 comments

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Arirang 

Have you heard about this North Korean spectacle called Arirang? It looks fascinating. Here are some photographs. (I haven't read the text, so I don't really know what this author thinks of the whole thing.) Those huge mosaics above the dancers are created by people holding placards. If you go to the bottom of this pagethis page, you can click on link to a video clip. (I can't give you a link because there really isn't a separate one.) The performances look regimented, like the old Soviet military parades, yet they're beautiful, too. And bizarre. 0 comments

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