The Furious Spinner

Today I was so furious I could have torn the car apart. I was listening to an NPR report about "honor killings" in Iraq. A 16-year-old girl was kidnapped from her home. The kidnappers threatened to rape and murder her if someone in the family who worked for the police didn't quit. So he quit. The girl was released. She was shot to death once she got home. Because she MAY have been raped, they "had" to kill her. They call it an honor killing? On what fucking planet is that honorable? It's murder. And even worse, they're murdering someone in their own family who didn't do anything wrong. Why don't we hear more about these kinds of things? If we're going to fight a war, why don't we fight a war to stop these demented motherfuckers from murdering women!!!!! As the killer talked about killing his cousin, with the full consent of her father and family—they may even have watched, I don't remember—he claimed Islam was against these killings but honor had to be "shined." Tribal tradition was very powerful, he said. If a man is kidnapped and then released, his release is celebrated. If a woman is kidnapped and then released, she is murdered—then the family honor is in tact. That's what this killer said.

AGAIN I SAY: ARE THEY FUCKING NUTS?

These murderers are not prosecuted, by the way. And Iraq is not the only country where this happens.

Earlier in day, I made a visit to a "spiritual advisor." This was in conjunction with one of my many medical appointments. I won't say where it was or with whom because...I want to be discreet. I wanted to go see this person because she was supposed to be able to advise people dealing with illness of any spiritual bent. (That sentence can be read a number of ways, can't it?) I was curious about what a spiritual advisor might say. So I went. I told her right away that I did not believe in God. "Because if you believe in an omnipotent god, don't you then have to believe he's a crazy fascist to allow such suffering to continue?" OK, I said it a bit more delicately than that.

She said God didn't cause the suffering, people do. Heard that before. Despite her obvious bent toward Christianity and my obvious bent away from Christianity, she was compassionate and kind. We talked about suffering. As usual, I was not satisfied with the outcome of the conversation, but she did make the suggestion that my angst and disbelief in god (because of the continuation of suffering) might be a sign of immaturity. (Because when you're a kid you believe in a Utopia. Then you see what life really is and you grow up.) Only I've always seen suffering. And she may not have implied I was immature, maybe I just gleaned that.

After about 45 minutes, we did a short meditation. I rather liked it. She thought part of my suffering was from rejecting the father. Damn fucking straight I reject the father as god and the patriarchy. I don't believe that rejection causes my suffering, however. I find comfort in my repudiation of the pater. I asked her what her religion was: Catholic. I asked what she thought about what was happening in the church, i.e. the molestation scandal. She thought it was a good thing—they were cleaning out the bad guys. I said that not allowing gays in the priesthood wasn't going to help. She said that a kind of homosexual subculture had occurred in the church (in addition to the pedophiles). Gay priests could get along with women, she said, but not with heterosexual men so this had created a problem. This was also true with lesbians as nuns, she continued, not being able to get along with heterosexual women. I didn't know what to say to this. I thought, well, time to leave. I started to get up and said, "Well, I don't like that the church is getting involved in politics. A bishop told Catholics if they voted for Kerry they'd be sinners." She didn't think a bishop had done that, but I said he had. "He said that because Kerry is pro-choice." "Well, pro-choice is difficult," she said.

"Women have a right to chose whether they have children or not," I said.

"They shouldn't have intercourse if they don't want a baby and if they get pregnant they shouldn't decide to kill the baby."

Wow.

She said the thing about killing babies several times. How could I have had a reasonable conversation with this woman about suffering and now suddenly she seemed like a fundamentalist? I stared at her. How had I missed that? Reasonable people can agree to disagree. Right? But some things are right and some things are wrong. Being prejudiced against gays is wrong. What she was saying about gays sounded like bigotry to me. Believing women don't have autonomy over their own bodies is wrong (see above for how extreme this loss of autonomy can go). (Women can decide that abortion is wrong for them, of course; then they can choose to never have an abortion.)

On my way out, I mentioned Kuan Yin. She takes the tears of those who are suffering, I said. She didn't know who Kuan Yin was. I thought how interesting it is that so many Christians know so little about other myths, religions, spirituality—even when advertising that they were open to other religions and spirituality.

Then on the way home I heard about the murders of the women in Iraq—murdered because they had been victims of a crime. Murdered because the traditions their families honored are WRONG, BAD, PATRIARCHAL.

It's all right to be furious, friends. It's OK to be angry. Don't let it burn you out. Let it fuel you.

That's honorable. 2 comments

2 Comments:

Kim, you and I share much the same feelings about religion, so I thought you might want to read Sam Harris's "An Atheist Manifesto." Truthdig.com--the former LA Times journalist Robert Scheer's new web site--has posted Harris's IMHO excellent article at

http://www.truthdig.com/dig/item/200512_an_atheist_manifesto/

Sending healing energy,
Patricia

By  Anonymous, at 6:12 PM  

What a great essay. Thanks, Patricia. It does often seem as though we are surrounded by crazy people. I don't think we should let people "get away" with things just because they're religious--although it often seems as though they are afflicted with some strange unreason so I don't want to be cruel to them, just as you wouldn't want to be cruel to someone with a mental disorder. Yet if it's a disorder that's going to cause us harm--as organized religion has to the tune of millions dead--we do need to defend ourselves. And our planet.

By  Kim Antieau, at 7:31 PM  

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