The Furious Spinner

Self Inquiry

A map that leads me
through exquisite, undiscovered terrain
A marvelous journey with unexpected
twists and turns
Lush new territory
Caves and caverns
Jewels and butterflies
A breathtaking exploration
How astounding
How brilliant
This pathless map
That always leads me
Home
—Lea Endres 2003 from We'Moon '05


I saw the new We'Moon '06 at a bookstore in Portland today after a stop at the dentist for a temporary repair on a chipped molar. I love this datebook. Getting it every fall feels like a rite of passage, a hopeful gift: contemplating the future. My work has been published in it for many, many years, but I bought this gorgeous inspiring datebook for years before I was ever in it. Of course I turned to the page where my piece was this year, an excerpt from a Falling essay, and I started crying in the store. It's actually embarrassing to be moved by your own words. But seeing a work in print always transforms it. Sometimes it's disappointing; sometimes thrilling; sometimes embarrassing; sometimes moving.

We're moving toward Equinox. I'm turning inward. I have the privilege of relative security and safety, so I also sometimes have the privilege of reflection. Shit happens and I gotta learn to figure out how to deal with it better. I am so tired of being a crazy lady. So with Equinox, I will plunge into The Salmon Mysteries. It will be a more solitary journey than I would like (since the Mysteries are not truly an individual celebration but a communal one) but thems the breaks.

By the way, have you read any of the current Journal of Mythic Arts? It's so scrumptious, as usual. Mario's long poem "Mark" has been reprinted (not the correct word since it's posted not printed but you get the picture). By the by, explore the whole site. And even if you've read my "Briar Rose," you might want to see what gorgeous paintings they used to accompany my story. I'm always finding something new I had somehow missed. For instance, I was intrigued by Alan Weisman's piece about the carnaval in Spain. And Cristina García Rodero's photographs interspersed throughout the article are amazing. I could write a story to go with each one—many stories for each photograph. They are like images out of dreams or nightmares. Mythic and symbolic and part of the real.

Time for bed.

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All photographs and written material copyright © 2003-2008 by Kim Antieau unless otherwise indicated. May not be used without permission.