The Furious Spinner

I've gotten a some comments about my pornography post, so I wanted to clarify a few things. We'll see if I can do it: it's early on a Sunday morning when I wish I was still asleep and I've got a rash (or poison oak) on my arm that is driving me to distraction. Okay. Porn. I wasn't saying that people who look at porn are bad people (or good people), just like I wouldn't say people who smoke are bad people (or good people). In our society (as in most societies) people engage in many unhealthy activities and never give them a second thought. People smoke, drink too much, look at porn, use pesticides, drive cars, use racist language, eat too much, watch too much TV, consume way too much, etc. and most of these activities aren't good for people and/or the planet. With porn sites being so easily accessible online now, it's one of those things that's becoming ordinary. "Everybody does it." And as we all know, just because everyone does it doesn't make the doing it healthy.

I've got lots of bad habits. I work on getting rid every day. I probably do many things that aren't healthy or good for me or the planet that I'm not even aware of. (Weird sentence, I know.) My point is that once we know better, we should do better. Or at least try to do better.

One reader mentioned that she doesn't think people who look at porn connect the women they're looking at with women in "real" life. Absolutely. We're so disconnected from our authentic selves (if you'll excuse me using that overused phrase). Most people have flashes of who they truly are, in their hearts, souls, bodies—flashes of what it feels like to walk their walk, talk their talk. (Maybe you get more than just flashes, maybe you feel that way all of the time: congratulations!) These moments of clarity may come when we're perfectly still, walking in the woods, hanging out with friends, making love, caring for someone who is ill, tending our children—during a variety of experiences. I'm betting those authentic flashes (or stretches of time) don't happen when we're looking at porn, gorging ourselves with food, smoking, drinking and drugging to excess, etc. Those activities may feel normal and comfortable, but then most ruts and addictions do feel normal and comfortable. That is the nature of a rut.

As a people, we tolerate abuse of women more than we tolerate many other things. People seem to get more upset over animal abuse than violence directed at women. Why is that?

I'm not talking about government regulation of pornography or TV—I'm talking about how we treat one another as neighbors. I've talked before about an essay I read by Anthony Burgess about what we should and should not do as artists. Yes, in a free society we can write about whatever we want, we can create artistically whatever we want, he said, but with that freedom comes responsibility: just because you can do something doesn't mean you should do that something.

For instance, I watched Deadwood on HBO, a show about the "real" west. In one scene, this man is sitting in a chair talking while a woman young enough to be his daughter gives him a blow job. The viewer sees her head bobbing up and down as the man talks. When I told a friend about this scene, she said, "But she wasn't really giving him a blow job." I said, "So what? She was a very young woman with her head in this old man's crouch. What kind of people would ask a girl to do that? Don't they have daughters? Sisters? Wives? I'm sure that's what this woman went to acting school to do. And how many guys in the crew were getting their rocks off watching her pretend to go down on this guy?" And yes, I exercised my right to freedom from this show by turning the channel. I didn't write any letters or ask HBO to not make the show. But I was reminded, once again, that just because we can do something doesn't mean we have do it.

I think we should talk about these kinds of things. We've become a nation of nice people doing really nasty things. Have you noticed how the Republicans lambast the Dems or Progressives every time they believe they've done something rude? This is absurd. They're outraged because so and so wore flip-flops to the White House (not really but that's the example that popped into my head) while they walk around in their busy suits smiling and ordering the deaths of tens of thousands of people via their corporate war. They are pirates: grinning pirates in suits and ties. So many people believe it is rude to disagree with someone: SINCE WHEN?

Speak your truth. Use your words. I never let anyone use racist, bigoted,, misogynist, homophobic language around me. Why would I tolerate racist, bigoted, homophobic, or misogynist photos around me? It's just creepy. 1 comments

1 Comments:

"Porn thoughts" just might be an oxymoron.

By  kevin, at 8:19 PM  

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All photographs and written material copyright © 2003-2008 by Kim Antieau unless otherwise indicated. May not be used without permission.