The Furious Spinner

This is one of those days that feels like it has been going on forever. That's all right. It hasn't been a bad day. As days go. I dreamed we were all walking around naked. I don't remember why, except I thought it was a grand idea. I ended up sitting at a bar...in a bar, drinking a gin and tonic. Naked. I was speaking with a man who was not naked, and I thought him very odd. I could taste the gin and tonic. I haven't had a gin and tonic in over twenty-five years. But I could taste it in that dream. Then I woke up to a crow calling out. The morning you heard about—trying to help Linda. I was in the parking lot of the grocery store, my hand gently on Linda's back as we walked slowly to her car. "It's all right," she said. "It was just—it's all right." She with her cane, me with my walking stick to steady the last bout of dizziness that hadn't quite left my body yet. Later I went to the newspaper during Mario's break to pay for an ad in the paper to thank everyone for participating in Linda's benefit. When I told the woman at the newspaper I wanted an ad, she asked me what it was for. "For Linda's memorial." And there was an instant of deafening silence as we all realized what I had said. "No, no, an ad for her benefit, thanking people." Outside on the sidewalk again, I started crying. "It was just a slip of the tongue," Mario said. "It means nothing." His arm around me as we walked, me hidden in sunglasses and baseball cap, bright sun oblivious to my weeping. I stayed at the library for a time, doing some work. One of the women said, "Stress. I don't like it any more. Do you?" I laughed and said, "I don't think anyone does." I went home to eat. I photographed my lunch. It was soothing. I kept thinking of my wedding, when my sister Kathleen took pictures for us and many of them were photographs of the food. After work Mario and I drove toward Portland. Halfway there, the speedometer went crazy and a yellow light came on. We just paid six hundred bucks to get that fixed a few months ago. Second or third time. Hondas aren't supposed to give us this kind of trouble. We kept driving. What else could we do? At the store, we looked for a new hose. It had to be safe for drinking—not that I would drink from it. Most hoses have lead in them. A big no-no. We looked for a fence for my deer, too, and one of the rolled up fences fell on Mario. Cut him. Blood. Bruising. Last straw as I imagined infection, death, destruction. Gotta let go, Kim. You are driving yourself nuts. Already there, already there, already there. Parked my car. Built a house. The K-mart woman cleaned Mario's wound, and said, "He just scratched himself." On the way home, with the yellow engine light on and the speedometer whipping back and forth between 20 and 100 mph, I opened a bag of baked Kettle chips and dipped them—one at a time—into the hummus we bought at Food Front. One for Mario who was driving, then one for me, while we listened to Air America. After a few minutes, I switched the radio off, and we ate chips and hummus in silence while we raced through the Columbia River Gorge, unsafe at whatever speed we were going.

See photo gallery of the day below.

By the way, as I mentioned to several people today via email and elsewhere, feel free to giggle at my photos. Although some of them are beautiful (the bear grass tips), others are whimsical in nature. I am aware of that. Just remember taking these photos may be what keeps me from doing drugs. Or becoming a Republican. Just kidding. Come on. Ain't gonna happen.

I've gotten more letters on my photographs, particularly the bowls, than almost anything else I've written here, except for my articles in Common Dreams or Alternet. Interesting.

Love Apple on Green Plate


Edges (Although this photo is cluttered and the hanging picture is cut in half, I still like it.)


Lunch


Après-Lunch


Way Après-Lunch

The Aduki Squash Soup is from The Self-Healing Cookbook by Kristina Turner, with a few minor changes. 1/2 c. aduki beans, a strip of kombu seaweed, 4 c. water, 1 c. buttercup squash (cubed). Simmer the aduki beans and seaweed in the water for an hour. Add the squash and continue cooking for 30 minutes. Sliced green onion at the end is a nice touch. (Tom, is this still too close to pea soup?) 0 comments

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All photographs and written material copyright © 2003-2008 by Kim Antieau unless otherwise indicated. May not be used without permission.