The Furious Spinner

This column (POPUPS) by Jon Carroll in the San Francisco Chronicle is hysterical (in the best sense of that word)—or else I have a strange sense of humor. Or both. He relays a supposed communique from the Unitarian Jihad which begins like this: "Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are Unitarian Jihad. There is only God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all..." The entire piece is a smorgasbord of delightful allusions, illusions, and tongue-in-cheekisms. At one point, he writes, "We have not been born again, nor have we sworn a blood oath. We do not think that God cares what we read, what we eat or whom we sleep with." He chuckles to the end with this: "We can strike without warning. Pockets of reasonableness and harmony will appear as if from nowhere! Nice people will run the government again! There will be coffee and cookies in the Gandhi Room after the revolution." Just lovely, lovely. Don't you just enjoy the hell out of someone with a sense of humor?

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