The Furious Spinner

Haven't felt like writing, so I pulled a fragment from a piece I wrote several years ago about another trip to the desert.

Peregrine Soul and the Search for the Grail

Ahhh, our pilgrim souls! That part of ourselves which is the most flexible, the most holy. To be a pilgrim means to purposefully become a stranger, a foreigner, to embrace the beginner’s mind and let everything be new. A pilgrim travels away from home, often looking for the sacred.

I feel as though I am a stranger, an alien, wherever I live. I am a pilgrim looking for home. I long for a place where I can dig in my toes, breathe deeply, and feel embraced by all that is. I have felt at home for short periods of time, then a disruption comes, a feeling of chaos permeates, and I am a wanderer—a peregrine—again.

I have gone on pilgrimages all of my life. Sometimes these journeys went as far as my back yard. Or to the grocery store. Even over the ocean to Europe. To the mountains in the West. As far as my back yard again. For me, each trip is a search for the present, the world, and my self. If you have a pilgrim soul, too, you must be prepared to ask questions others may not ask—or may not want you to ask.

When Percival found the Grail and was faced with the wounded king, he failed to ask, “What ails you? And whom does the Grail serve?” He was in an alien place. Was he too timid to ask? Didn’t he care about the king or the Grail? Was he afraid to step out of his place? Perhaps you need to ask, “What ails me?” Often we need to step away from the familiar—step onto the path of pilgrimage—to be able to answer just such a question.

Joseph Campbell wrote that the prevailing myth of the western world is King Arthur and the Search for the Holy Grail. It is a myth frequently associated with Christ and sacrifice. In our culture, we often equate goodness with sacrifice and suffering. The more we suffer the better people we are. And it is just a myth: suffering plus sacrifice does not equal goodness.

Most scholars agree the story of the Grail originates before Christianity. According to Jean Markale, the King Arthur story was a pagan epic, a “Celtic quest for the submerged woman represented by the Grail.” The Grail itself was a transformation of the Celtic Cauldron of Regeneration where slain warriors were restored to life. The search for the Grail is, in essence, a search for restoration then, for re-creation. Since the Cauldron of Regeneration represented the womb of the Goddess—the womb of the Earth—restoration of life occurred when the dead went back to the womb, i.e. back into the Earth—to be born again. We go on pilgrimages for the same reason—to be restored to life.

We go on vacation for recreation. But what is recreation? Re-creation. To go back to creation. To be created again. The word create comes from 'ker': to be in motion. Thus, our re-creation requires motion again. The word restoration comes from 'sta': to stand. Re-storation requires us to stand again. Stillness and motion. To stand and to move. Silence and movement. Get up off the couch. Stand. Ask, what ails me? Then move. Stand again. Ask, what ails me? And move.

I have read and listened to many accounts of travelers and pilgrims. Some say suffering is required for a meaningful sojourn. Our culture is too fixated on suffering as a means to holiness. Percival found the Grail in the temple Montjoie, “Mount of Joy,” governed by the Queen, Repanse de Joie—Dispenser of Joy. We can find our selves, our Grail, and answer the question “What ails you?” with joy. Suffering happens, sacrifice happens, but it is not required for enlightenment. See if you can find what you need in joy. 0 comments

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