The Furious Spinner

What do you do when a man who stands for everything you abhor is elected as president of your country? First you howl.

OK. Done howling? Need some more? Go ahead. Howl until the cows come home. Yesterday I kept seeing (and getting sent) these words: "Don't mourn, organize!" Well, I think we need some mourning time—and reflecting time. Organize what? What we have been doing has not worked. We need to come up with something else. But wait. I forgot. We're still howling.

And howling...

Whew. Now what?

First, don't be fooled. It is as bad as you're afraid it is. From the information given in this article, it seems clear that the Bushies intend to make good their promises to end women's rights to reproductive care, make a ban against gay marriage constitutional, and pump up the military. (The author didn't mention what they plan to do with the environment, but I've heard from several organizations that they expect the worst.)

I won't give you any more lists of what they plan to do. You get the idea. It ain't pretty. They have over a majority in all the branches of government, so they can pretty much do what they please.

Have you faced the truth of it? Breathe deeply now. Try not to panic or block it out.

Yesterday I went into the woods near Panther Creek in the Giff with five other women. It was getting late, and the sun made the tops of the trees golden. Below the sun, we walked in the fog over the damp tea-colored leaves. In the background, the creek flowed over the rocky riverbed, creating a soothing white noise. Before we stepped onto the path, one of my friends read a piece about impermanence and then declared that not a word could be said about the election. I was stunned. First off, who made her dictator? No one had told me about this rule. I was furious and hurt because I felt this declaration was aimed primarily at me. After walking around for a while, I finally said something to my friend. I've lived in the West for a long while, and one generalization I can make is this: people here don't like to talk about uncomfortable things. “Just ignore it and it'll go away.” Well, obviously, this is NOT my way. I told my friend that I respected her need for silence, but I thought it was unacceptable to order me to keep my mouth shut. It was not pretty. When people are not used to discussing issues, they're not very good at it. Her argument became, "You're really hurting me. You're really making me feel bad." And this just about crushed me since my friend has metastasized breast cancer and she believes she needs to think good thoughts to be healthy and here I was making her feel bad!

Anyway, we didn't discuss the election. I went home shaking my head (and nearly every other body part) and wondering what was going to happen to our country. If we can't talk about these kinds of things with friends, if we can't figure out what to do next, how will we stop the dismantling of our country and the building of a theocracy? I wrote this to my peace group about the incident: "While I understood my friends wanted a few minutes of 'time out,' I was (once again) appalled by this idea of 'if we don't talk about it it'll go away.' People often quote Buddhist teachings about impermanence etc. or some New Age treacle about thinking peaceful thoughts as an excuse not to think about issues—as an excuse for inaction. 'It' won't go away if we don't talk about it. We can have all the peaceful thoughts in the world and it's good to be grounded in what we do but just thinking peaceful thoughts will not make it all go away! Yes, it's all impermanent, but if we have the power and ability, we should try to alleviate suffering. We can't keep doing the same ol' same ol' no matter how comforting it is."

So you ask again, what do we do?

I am thinking again of the Trickster Tribe. It is time. I've a couple small ideas. Since I'm good at researching and writing, I'm going to try to investigate past revolutionary movements and see how they succeeded and then maybe incorporate some of their methods into our peace group. I've thought about making my jacket a billboard: 100,000 Iraqis dead, over 1,100 U.S. soldiers dead. Or putting up that same information on my lawn.

My friend Linda who does the counter recruiting in high schools (which is such a great program) has some ideas, too. She's thinking we should have a "massive 'divorce in.' We need to get massive amounts of people to get divorced, publicly, symbolically, on the steps of court houses everywhere.” She also suggests that we all reregister as Greens."The U.S. Is so far behind the Europeans," Linda writes. "They already have Greens in parliament!!! We need to get busy. We do need to talk about it, and we do need to stay centered, focused and Buddha-like, but not silent or passive. People who speak as if there's nothing more to do but to meditate and think peaceful thoughts are people who have the luxury to close their eyes...at least for a while. How do they feel about the 100,000 innocents killed, and that number won't stop there?"

We need to think and feel different ways to be active. We need to act truthfully. Actors for the truth. Yesterday Ralph Nader said we need to stop letting the right claim the moral high road. How is it moral, for instance, to kill Iraqi civilians? How is it moral to let people who are sick die because they have no health care? How is it moral to allow big business to continue to pollute and harm the health of the environment and people? How is it moral to encourage bigotry and hatred?

Mr. Nader has a point.

OK. I don't know if this post makes any sense. I've been typing on it for hours now in-between phone calls and laundry. I'm tired. I need to eat. I need to put the clothes in the dryer. I need to go outside and feel the sun on my face. I need to listen to the birds.

I appreciate all the letters you’ve sent to me. Your words of encouragement helped get me through yesterday. I especially appreciated the letters I got from readers in other countries who sent condolences rather than ranting at me, “Are you all nuts?” Which is what I was wondering...

What words of encouragement do I have for you? Well, are these not exciting times we live in? Are we not in the midst of an adventure story? Truly. I encourage you to read about dissidents in Russia and China and other places. I read many biographies of dissidents when I was younger, and I remember wondering if I could be that brave or if I could do what they did. I still don't know the answer to those questions. But I do know now that most of them were ordinary people who wanted a good life with their friends and families and they walked the good path—or the red road, or whatever words you wish to use to describe it—one step at a time, deciding what was right and what was wrong, what they could tolerate and what they couldn't.

In my book The Jigsaw Woman, the inquisitor says to the hera of the book, Keelie, "Someday you'll be on your knees to me." And Keelie says, "Never." Even though she knows that someday she will be on her knees to this man—physically, literally. But never in her heart or her soul.

So breathe deeply, breathe freely. Breathe in the essence and body of your own sweet beautiful selves and those you love. You are not alone.

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