The Furious Spinner

I've gotten so many kind letters regarding this bout with poison oak (which has recently reasserted its ugly oozing heads), and I thank you. Nora has even been chanting for me. Thanks, Nora. I did get many letters about community, back when I said I wanted them, but so much time has gone by that I've lost track of some of them. So please forgive me for not including more letters! Hope you enjoy.

Regarding community and the topics covered in Big River Slow Supper Salon, several readers wrote to say that they looked for community in church but were often disappointed by those experiences. Beth was incredulous when at one church she (formerly) attended they decided to not hire a particular pastor because he had been divorced—as if that made him unworthy. Beth expressed the frustration I hear from many people about trying to connect with other people in community. "Why don't we discuss things here in the U.S.? ...there are 50 second debates on news shows. (Like anyone can get a clear view on anything in 50 seconds with 4 people talking at once.) But I've yet to be sitting at a table with a group of friends, or relatives for that matter, and actually had a deep conversation on issues that affect this country, the world, etc. ...I've been trying to get my girlfriends together for a political pow-wow. I've sent out emails trying to get an idea as to their political standing...my friends' replies are non-existent if anything I send or talk about deals with politics or issues."

Genevieve noted the differences between the U.S. and Canada. "I have thought a lot about what makes Canada different than the U.S. and I believe that it is the emphasis in Canada on the good of the whole, rather than the good of the individual. We tend to think more about the rights of everyone instead of the rights of the individual. We are free, within boundaries, to do whatever we want, but we do know that there are accepted and defined boundaries. Makes one a lot less ready to fight for "freedom" to do things when it is a collective rather than an individual responsibility. And, certainly, in my experience, Canadians are ready, at the drop of a hat, to discuss, argue, and defend any point of view under the sun, including religion and politics, and then "kiss and make up" when they are done....There is also, especially in smaller towns, more of a feeling of safety in Canada. Less guns, less tolerance for violence, less poverty, who knows? People tend to not lock doors, cars, valuables in the smaller places and there is a real sense of belonging, community and caring for others."

At first Jason, who lives in Denmark but who has traveled in the U.S., didn't think European countries had any more of a "cafe culture" than the U.S., but later he said, " I've been thinking about what I wrote to you recently about Europe having no "cafe' culture. Well, I've changed my mind a bit, on deeper reflection. Sorry. Firstly, I should point out, that I'm simply not qualified to comment on this. I have, for example, no knowledge of how life is in the Balkans, in Russia or anywhere else outside the EU (apart from the Czech Republic). In any case, I think what you were getting at is the loss of a sense of community in towns and cities. I think back to my times in the US and I can see a clear distinction between places like San Diego (downtown, out of hours, like a city after a nuclear strike) and, say, New Orleans or New York (outside lower Manhattan), which was much more 'people-friendly'. I have to say that most European towns and cities seem to be quite people-friendly by comparison. They are still places where people want to live, work, eat and play with their kids. Jonathan Franzen wrote a good essay about this ('First City') in his book How to be Alone."

During the Salon we talked about how the French lived. Jason responded with this, "I was lucky enough to live and work in France for a few months just after I finished university. I really got an education from my work colleagues about how to live. Yes, we had two or even three hour
lunches every day (and the same again in the evening) with wine and coffee and cigarettes— and yet...How come they manage to stay so healthy and positive? My guess is it's all down to the relaxed culture, outdoor lifestyle and healthy food. Nothing is done to excess, either. When I came back to England I was shocked by how lumpy and gray and disconnected people seemed."

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